Posts
Creepy Dream
5 years ago
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Weekend
I had a great weekend. I went to go visit my little brother, Mr. Pibb, in the little town where we grew up. Driving there was an adventure in itself. I spent the last 40 miles in a solid wall of fog. I only dared to go 30 mph. But I made it there safely.
Sunday at church was nothing short of awesome. Through various circumstances, there were many people there that I had not seen since my teenage years.
- My old bishop, who had moved away to California, was there visiting his son for Christmas.
- Nicole just returned from her mission and gave a wonderful homecoming talk. She and her sister Erica performed an amazing acapella duet. Both the girls and the duet were breathtaking. Nicole played a key role in helping Mrs. Pibb join the Church, so even though her family was awesome before, they are even more awesome now.
- Their older sister Danielle was also there to welcome Nicole home. I was better friends with Danielle than the other two because she is closer to my age. (When you’re 18 you’re not too concerned with 12 year olds or 8 year olds. But you may eventually notice a 15 year old, especially if she’s as cool as Danielle.) I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. She is so fun to talk to with the way she buzzes with excitement and energy, and her wonderful laugh always loaded and ready to go.
- My good friend Verny has moved her records back to our “home ward” (I don’t really like using that term.) so I was able to see her, and will get to see her more often when I go back to visit again – whenever that may be. It seems I only get to see her in person once or twice a year.
I was able to spend a lot of quality time with my 18 month old niece, Baby Pibb. By the end of the weekend she would run up to me and grab my legs. She may have even said my name a couple times. She is quite possibly the most beautiful little girl ever.
And to top it off, I was finally able to pick up my New Hotness. She’s waiting to get fully tweaked and outfitted, and hoping to take her maiden voyage soon.
I hope you all had a weekend as good as mine.
Sunday at church was nothing short of awesome. Through various circumstances, there were many people there that I had not seen since my teenage years.
- My old bishop, who had moved away to California, was there visiting his son for Christmas.
- Nicole just returned from her mission and gave a wonderful homecoming talk. She and her sister Erica performed an amazing acapella duet. Both the girls and the duet were breathtaking. Nicole played a key role in helping Mrs. Pibb join the Church, so even though her family was awesome before, they are even more awesome now.
- Their older sister Danielle was also there to welcome Nicole home. I was better friends with Danielle than the other two because she is closer to my age. (When you’re 18 you’re not too concerned with 12 year olds or 8 year olds. But you may eventually notice a 15 year old, especially if she’s as cool as Danielle.) I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. She is so fun to talk to with the way she buzzes with excitement and energy, and her wonderful laugh always loaded and ready to go.
- My good friend Verny has moved her records back to our “home ward” (I don’t really like using that term.) so I was able to see her, and will get to see her more often when I go back to visit again – whenever that may be. It seems I only get to see her in person once or twice a year.
I was able to spend a lot of quality time with my 18 month old niece, Baby Pibb. By the end of the weekend she would run up to me and grab my legs. She may have even said my name a couple times. She is quite possibly the most beautiful little girl ever.
And to top it off, I was finally able to pick up my New Hotness. She’s waiting to get fully tweaked and outfitted, and hoping to take her maiden voyage soon.
I hope you all had a weekend as good as mine.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Turn Me Up
This video does a great job of showing the difference between a good mastering job and a poor (and all too common) mastering job.
Go to TurnMeUp.org to support more dynamic records.
Fight the Loudness War.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Pacifier
Ok, so I haven't posted for a whole month. Waah waah; quit your crying. I know you have all been on the edge of your respective seats waiting with baited breath for me to post something. I know you, my adoring fans, are all just dying to hear more about my fascinating life. I know you ache to read my thoughts about some band you have never heard of. I hear your internal pleas for me to submit something - anything - so that your hunger may be satisfied and so you can fill that void in your soul that grows so cold when I am not around.
Well too bad.
I haven't felt inspired to write anything and there isn't much going on. … Well that's not true; there are plenty of things going on, but nothing that is blogworthy.
I just hope these words will tide you over until there is something to write about. Until then you will just have to be content with rereading my previous posts and clutching the pictures of me you keep on your nightstand and in the locket around your neck.
Well too bad.
I haven't felt inspired to write anything and there isn't much going on. … Well that's not true; there are plenty of things going on, but nothing that is blogworthy.
I just hope these words will tide you over until there is something to write about. Until then you will just have to be content with rereading my previous posts and clutching the pictures of me you keep on your nightstand and in the locket around your neck.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Featured Album: Porcupine Tree, Coma Divine
Album: Coma Divine
Artist: Porcupine Tree
Year: Recorded live in 1997, Remastered in 2005.
Masterpiece potential
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Live albums are risky. They have great potential, but a lot can go wrong. The recording quality may be poor. The audience noise may be too intrusive. The actual performance of any member of the band may be below expectations. The production quality may be low. The guitar part that sounds great on the studio album may now be sloppy and full of squeaks. The singer may go for the high note and totally biff it. There may be 10 minutes of nothing while Axl Rose tries to get the crowd to move back. Live albums are like a box of chocolates - with a high probability of many coconut covered, toothpaste filled landmines to ruin it.
But when I received this 2-disc live album I fully expected it to sound amazing. Why did I have such confidence, you ask? Because this is Porcupine Tree, and Porcupine Tree's creator Steven Wilson is not only a great musician, but he is also a wonderful producer who believes in music as an art form and not just a means to make money and become famous. (Those are byproducts.)
(You know you're a prog geek if you can hear an album by a great band filled with great songs, but you consider the album to be almost unlistenable because of the poor production quality.)
I was not disappointed. I expected it to be good, and instead it was great. The sound quality is pristine. Better than any live album I've ever heard, and in fact better than most studio albums. Audience noise is pretty much limited to the very beginning/ending of the songs.
This was recorded earlier in their career so all of these songs were new to me except for “Waiting”. This era features a different sound for the band. While their current material has more rock and metal influences, this album is more like psychedelic-blues-jam. Very Pink Floydian with a few splashes of Led Zeppelin every now and then. Quite mellow with a very prominent bass groove. And bongos! I love bongos! Well done bongos can add so much atmosphere to a song.
The only downside is that most of the songs share a similar vibe, so while each individual song may move up and down and progress, the album as a whole is somewhat static. This minor nit-picking is the only thing keeping me from immediately granting this album Masterpiece status. Some time is required to be able to judge its lasting power, so its status may be upgraded later.
The Verdict: Superb! Listen to it at work, while you relax, in the car…
I owe a HUGE “Thank You!” to my wonderful friend Seashells for finding this album for me. I could not have found a better album myself for my November purchase. You’re awesome.
Disc 1
1. Bornlivedieintro (Not really a song. Just a short recording of the band backstage as they are about to go on.)
2. Signify (Instrumental)
3. Waiting Phase One
4. Waiting Phase Two (Instrumental)
5. The Sky Moves Sideways
6. Dislocated Day
7. The Sleep of No Dreaming
8. Moonloop (Instrumental)
Disc 2
1. Up the Downstair (Instrumental)
2. The Moon Touches Your Shoulder
3. Always Never (Almost instrumental)
4. IS…NOT (Instrumental)
5. Radioactive Toy
6. Not Beautiful Anymore (Instrumental)
Artist: Porcupine Tree
Year: Recorded live in 1997, Remastered in 2005.
Masterpiece potential
Live albums are risky. They have great potential, but a lot can go wrong. The recording quality may be poor. The audience noise may be too intrusive. The actual performance of any member of the band may be below expectations. The production quality may be low. The guitar part that sounds great on the studio album may now be sloppy and full of squeaks. The singer may go for the high note and totally biff it. There may be 10 minutes of nothing while Axl Rose tries to get the crowd to move back. Live albums are like a box of chocolates - with a high probability of many coconut covered, toothpaste filled landmines to ruin it.
But when I received this 2-disc live album I fully expected it to sound amazing. Why did I have such confidence, you ask? Because this is Porcupine Tree, and Porcupine Tree's creator Steven Wilson is not only a great musician, but he is also a wonderful producer who believes in music as an art form and not just a means to make money and become famous. (Those are byproducts.)
(You know you're a prog geek if you can hear an album by a great band filled with great songs, but you consider the album to be almost unlistenable because of the poor production quality.)
I was not disappointed. I expected it to be good, and instead it was great. The sound quality is pristine. Better than any live album I've ever heard, and in fact better than most studio albums. Audience noise is pretty much limited to the very beginning/ending of the songs.
This was recorded earlier in their career so all of these songs were new to me except for “Waiting”. This era features a different sound for the band. While their current material has more rock and metal influences, this album is more like psychedelic-blues-jam. Very Pink Floydian with a few splashes of Led Zeppelin every now and then. Quite mellow with a very prominent bass groove. And bongos! I love bongos! Well done bongos can add so much atmosphere to a song.
The only downside is that most of the songs share a similar vibe, so while each individual song may move up and down and progress, the album as a whole is somewhat static. This minor nit-picking is the only thing keeping me from immediately granting this album Masterpiece status. Some time is required to be able to judge its lasting power, so its status may be upgraded later.
The Verdict: Superb! Listen to it at work, while you relax, in the car…
I owe a HUGE “Thank You!” to my wonderful friend Seashells for finding this album for me. I could not have found a better album myself for my November purchase. You’re awesome.
Disc 1
1. Bornlivedieintro (Not really a song. Just a short recording of the band backstage as they are about to go on.)
2. Signify (Instrumental)
3. Waiting Phase One
4. Waiting Phase Two (Instrumental)
5. The Sky Moves Sideways
6. Dislocated Day
7. The Sleep of No Dreaming
8. Moonloop (Instrumental)
Disc 2
1. Up the Downstair (Instrumental)
2. The Moon Touches Your Shoulder
3. Always Never (Almost instrumental)
4. IS…NOT (Instrumental)
5. Radioactive Toy
6. Not Beautiful Anymore (Instrumental)
Monday, November 3, 2008
Featured Album: Nightwish
Album: Once
Artist: Nightwish
Year: 2004
Masterpiece!
I don't hand out the title "Masterpiece" very often. I reserve it for albums that continue to blow me away and leave my jaw hanging even after listening to it dozens of times. Albums that repeatedly surprise me and fascinate me. This album crams so much awesomeness into such a small place that it's a scientific mystery that it hasn't collapsed upon itself to form a black hole.
Not only is the songwriting amazing, but the production is very good too. Each instrument is discernible from the others and doesn't get all mushy in the mix. The individual players are at the top of their game. Jukka's drums are thunderous, yet clear. Marco's bass is bold and aggressive. The symphony is real, not synthesized. In fact the symphonic elements play a critical role in the music, not just thrown in as an afterthought.
As I listen to this album I find myself turning the volume up more and more with each song. Sure there are a few filler songs that don't quite measure up to the magnificence of the others, but luckily those songs are all conveniently located at the end. So it's the most amazing album you've ever heard ... plus a couple other songs that aren't bad either.
This is Nightwish's final studio album with Tarja Turunen as lead singer. It also features bassist Marco Hietala taking the microphone more than their previous albums.
I was going to write a brief description of each song, but almost every one would start out "Ooh, this is one of my favorites. It's so amazing..." So I'll just say that each song is abso-freakin-lutely phenomenal and you should seek out this album.
Warning: You will never listen to music the same way again.
1. Dark Chest of Wonders
2. Wish I Had an Angel
3. Nemo: No it's not about the Disney fish.
4. Planet Hell
5. Creek Mary's Blood: Inspired by the plight of Native Americans, featuring John Two-Hawks, a Lakota musician, on wooden flute, chanting, and reciting a poem in Lakota.
6. The Siren
7. Dead Gardens
8. Romanticide: If your fists are not pumping along at the end of this song, then something is wrong with you.
9. Ghost Love Score: A perfect example of what Symphonic Rock can/should be. A spectacular blend of rock & symphony, complexity & melody.
10. Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan: The polar opposite of most of the other songs. An aria in Finnish with just Tarja and the symphony.
11. Higher Than Hope
12. White Night Fantasy
13. Live to Tell the Tale
Artist: Nightwish
Year: 2004
Masterpiece!
I don't hand out the title "Masterpiece" very often. I reserve it for albums that continue to blow me away and leave my jaw hanging even after listening to it dozens of times. Albums that repeatedly surprise me and fascinate me. This album crams so much awesomeness into such a small place that it's a scientific mystery that it hasn't collapsed upon itself to form a black hole.
Not only is the songwriting amazing, but the production is very good too. Each instrument is discernible from the others and doesn't get all mushy in the mix. The individual players are at the top of their game. Jukka's drums are thunderous, yet clear. Marco's bass is bold and aggressive. The symphony is real, not synthesized. In fact the symphonic elements play a critical role in the music, not just thrown in as an afterthought.
As I listen to this album I find myself turning the volume up more and more with each song. Sure there are a few filler songs that don't quite measure up to the magnificence of the others, but luckily those songs are all conveniently located at the end. So it's the most amazing album you've ever heard ... plus a couple other songs that aren't bad either.
This is Nightwish's final studio album with Tarja Turunen as lead singer. It also features bassist Marco Hietala taking the microphone more than their previous albums.
I was going to write a brief description of each song, but almost every one would start out "Ooh, this is one of my favorites. It's so amazing..." So I'll just say that each song is abso-freakin-lutely phenomenal and you should seek out this album.
Warning: You will never listen to music the same way again.
1. Dark Chest of Wonders
2. Wish I Had an Angel
3. Nemo: No it's not about the Disney fish.
4. Planet Hell
5. Creek Mary's Blood: Inspired by the plight of Native Americans, featuring John Two-Hawks, a Lakota musician, on wooden flute, chanting, and reciting a poem in Lakota.
6. The Siren
7. Dead Gardens
8. Romanticide: If your fists are not pumping along at the end of this song, then something is wrong with you.
9. Ghost Love Score: A perfect example of what Symphonic Rock can/should be. A spectacular blend of rock & symphony, complexity & melody.
10. Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan: The polar opposite of most of the other songs. An aria in Finnish with just Tarja and the symphony.
11. Higher Than Hope
12. White Night Fantasy
13. Live to Tell the Tale
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
How We Met
A missionary in my little brother Mr. Pibb's ward was selling his bike and Mr. Pibb was interested in getting one to ride around town with Mrs. Pibb. I was in town visiting, so I went with Mr. Pibb to check out the bike. It was a nice 2004 Trek 4300 so I gave Pibb the nod to indicate it was a fair deal for a good bike. I had mentioned earlier the features I wanted when it came time to upgrade from my current bike, "The B-2." The Trek had some of those features so on the way home, much to my surprise, he offered to trade. We worked out a deal so that essentially I bought the missionary's bike and Mr. Pibb is buying The B-2 from me.
The hard part wasn't deciding if I wanted to buy the Trek. The hardest part was deciding if I really wanted to let go of The B-2. I had never planned on getting rid of her. If I got a new bike I would keep The B-2 and dedicate each bike for a different purpose: one for the road, one for the dirt. But this deal works out well for everybody.
The sad part is that I won’t actually have possession of the Trek for about a month. I didn’t want to take it home with me and leave Mr. Pibb without any bike. Especially since one is most likely to be motivated to ride immediately after getting a bike and there is only about a month of ridable weather left before winter hits. So he can ride around town on the Trek and I’ll finish the season on The B-2, then we’ll trade bikes next time we see each other. Then I'll start off next year with a new ride! YAAAAAY!
- A side note about one of my quirks: As many of you know, I’m a bit of a shade-tree bike mechanic. In fact if you know me at all and you own a bike, chances are I’ve worked on your bike at some point. I can’t stand to see a bike in a state of disrepair.
This isn’t just a hobby; it’s a borderline OCD. (I’ve stopped to fix poorly assembled bikes on display at the department store.) When we were looking at this missionary’s bike I paused to admire his companion’s Specialized. He didn’t even know it, but his bike was in horrible shape. Not just in need of a tune up, but actually unsafe to ride. I nearly cried at the sight of such a gorgeous bike in such horrible need of attention, so I flipped it over and started working. I’m not sure how much time passed … I guess an hour or two, but I could not pull myself away until it was safe and functional again.
The hard part wasn't deciding if I wanted to buy the Trek. The hardest part was deciding if I really wanted to let go of The B-2. I had never planned on getting rid of her. If I got a new bike I would keep The B-2 and dedicate each bike for a different purpose: one for the road, one for the dirt. But this deal works out well for everybody.
The sad part is that I won’t actually have possession of the Trek for about a month. I didn’t want to take it home with me and leave Mr. Pibb without any bike. Especially since one is most likely to be motivated to ride immediately after getting a bike and there is only about a month of ridable weather left before winter hits. So he can ride around town on the Trek and I’ll finish the season on The B-2, then we’ll trade bikes next time we see each other. Then I'll start off next year with a new ride! YAAAAAY!
- A side note about one of my quirks: As many of you know, I’m a bit of a shade-tree bike mechanic. In fact if you know me at all and you own a bike, chances are I’ve worked on your bike at some point. I can’t stand to see a bike in a state of disrepair.
This isn’t just a hobby; it’s a borderline OCD. (I’ve stopped to fix poorly assembled bikes on display at the department store.) When we were looking at this missionary’s bike I paused to admire his companion’s Specialized. He didn’t even know it, but his bike was in horrible shape. Not just in need of a tune up, but actually unsafe to ride. I nearly cried at the sight of such a gorgeous bike in such horrible need of attention, so I flipped it over and started working. I’m not sure how much time passed … I guess an hour or two, but I could not pull myself away until it was safe and functional again.
Monday, October 27, 2008
New Girlfriend
Two and a half years is a long time to be together. During that time we had some really good times that I will always remember and cherish. But there were also some not so good times when it seemed like a constant uphill battle, or when things broke down all together.
Then suddenly everything changes in a single day.
It was a difficult decision, but I think it's now time for me to move on. I've found a new companion.
I must confess, I admired her at first sight, but she was supposedly spoken for by another guy. But what can I say; things worked out in my favor and now she's all mine. I can't disclose her name yet, but let me try to describe her. She's sporty, petite, and girl-next-door-beautiful.
Click here to see a picture of her! (Yes, it's safe to click.)
I'm so excited!
Then suddenly everything changes in a single day.
It was a difficult decision, but I think it's now time for me to move on. I've found a new companion.
I must confess, I admired her at first sight, but she was supposedly spoken for by another guy. But what can I say; things worked out in my favor and now she's all mine. I can't disclose her name yet, but let me try to describe her. She's sporty, petite, and girl-next-door-beautiful.
Click here to see a picture of her! (Yes, it's safe to click.)
I'm so excited!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Me Tarzan
I spent the entire weekend helping my friends re-roof their house. Saturday night when the sun went down, we put up flood lights and worked until midnight. With much more work to do and rain in the forecast, we continued working through Sunday. Or rather, we "attended the Shingles Ward." The Lord was kind enough to hold off the rain until we were done.
Here I am taking a break to have a little fun.
Here I am taking a break to have a little fun.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Something New Hidden In Something Old.
One of my all-time favorite songs is The Great Debate by Dream Theater (Disc 1, Track #4 from their 2002 album Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence.) It’s 13.75 minutes of Grade A 100% pure concentrated AWESOME!
I’ve had this CD for 6 years and I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times. I eventually gave up studying each individual part, trying to figure out the timing to its complex polyrhythms and changing time signatures, and I learned to just sit back and enjoy it as a whole. But last night in the car without even trying I discovered something I’ve never heard before, and that makes me extremely excited.
It’s nothing huge. At 9:58 during the transition from the keyboard solo to the guitar solo, the drummer clicks his sticks together a few times. (Quarter notes in 6/8 I believe, but then it switches (again) to 4/4 for the guitar solo. The real prog geeks out there can correct me if I’m wrong, and I know they will. They are prog geeks after all.)
That’s it. In a complex blizzard of notes I found about 8 clicks that I had never noticed before and that made me giggle like a little girl and rewind the CD to hear it again about 3 times. That’s just how I am.
In other news: Dream Theater entered the studio this week to begin writing/recording their 10th album.
I’ve had this CD for 6 years and I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times. I eventually gave up studying each individual part, trying to figure out the timing to its complex polyrhythms and changing time signatures, and I learned to just sit back and enjoy it as a whole. But last night in the car without even trying I discovered something I’ve never heard before, and that makes me extremely excited.
It’s nothing huge. At 9:58 during the transition from the keyboard solo to the guitar solo, the drummer clicks his sticks together a few times. (Quarter notes in 6/8 I believe, but then it switches (again) to 4/4 for the guitar solo. The real prog geeks out there can correct me if I’m wrong, and I know they will. They are prog geeks after all.)
That’s it. In a complex blizzard of notes I found about 8 clicks that I had never noticed before and that made me giggle like a little girl and rewind the CD to hear it again about 3 times. That’s just how I am.
In other news: Dream Theater entered the studio this week to begin writing/recording their 10th album.
1-2-3 Punch!
There’s a new 3-hole punch over by the copy machine. It’s beautiful, all shiny and new. It’s many chrome pieces sparkle in the florescent light. I’ve never once needed to use a 3-hole punch the entire time I’ve worked here, but this bad boy seems to call out to me saying, “Hey! … Let’s punch holes in stuff.”
I could watch all the pieces move in concert with each other in a living testament to mechanical engineering as I am able to effortlessly punch perfect little holes through anything I choose.
The GBC Hummer Heavy Duty 3 Hole Punch:
Buy one! It’s shiny!
The GBC Hummer Heavy Duty 3 Hole Punch:
Buy one! It’s shiny!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Even More Camping Photos
I know I promised these a long time ago. Sorry, I don't have time to tell all the stories to go with them.
See story from Day 2: There Will Be Mud.
See story from Day 2: There Will Be Mud.
Me, Big Rig, Pistachio, Steep (driving)
Look Ma! I'm Superman!
Even Superman gets sleepy.
See story from Day 3 and Caleep's notorious line about looking first.
Maybe it's a good thing the tree stopped the jeep.
Oops. That's probably not good.
J-9 is a ROCKSTAR! I like her shirt.
"PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD"
"PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD"
(Girl kicks guy's butt.)
Friday, September 26, 2008
Fringe
There’s a new sci-fi / action / drama series on Fox called Fringe. It’s a little like a combination of X-Files + Lost. I happened to catch the first two episodes and it looks pretty good An FBI agent, a mad scientist, and the scientist’s son team up to solve crimes and mysteries that involve extreme technology bordering on the edge of the paranormal. These mysteries are all somehow connected together as part of the big picture referred to as “The Pattern”. Only a couple mysterious people seem to know anything about The Pattern and they don’t reveal much.
But I have figured out an important clue. When they break for commercials they show different images on the screen. The images appear to be something normal, but with a twist: A handprint with 6 fingers, a leaf with geometric shapes in its “veins”, etc. But my favorite image is the frog. Take a look.
But I have figured out an important clue. When they break for commercials they show different images on the screen. The images appear to be something normal, but with a twist: A handprint with 6 fingers, a leaf with geometric shapes in its “veins”, etc. But my favorite image is the frog. Take a look.
That’s an interesting design on its back.
Dream Theater is part of The Pattern!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Itching To Ride
I’m no Boy Scout. The only knots I can tie are my shoes and a neck tie. I don’t know an Elm tree from a Birch tree. Unfortunately I also don’t know a geranium from poison oak.
There is apparently poison-something along the Swanson Park mountain bike course. My arms and legs are pretty well covered. It sucks. WebMD says you can use over the counter creams to relieve the itching, but the rash can last for up to two weeks.
:-( Rock off.
The good news is it’s not contagious so no need to fear, Ladies, you are still able to seek comfort in my loving embrace. Just don’t mind me if I itch my arms on your sweater as you do.
There is apparently poison-something along the Swanson Park mountain bike course. My arms and legs are pretty well covered. It sucks. WebMD says you can use over the counter creams to relieve the itching, but the rash can last for up to two weeks.
:-( Rock off.
The good news is it’s not contagious so no need to fear, Ladies, you are still able to seek comfort in my loving embrace. Just don’t mind me if I itch my arms on your sweater as you do.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Look-A-Likes
My wonderful and beautiful friend Emily has a very handsome 1 year old son named A___.
For quite some time now I've been trying to think of who A___ reminds me of.
It finally came to me today.
Comedian Jim Gaffigan!
You might recognize him from Sierra Mist commercials and That 70's Show.
I love this guy. He's one of my favorites.
Sorry Emily, I hope you don't mind.
For quite some time now I've been trying to think of who A___ reminds me of.
It finally came to me today.
Comedian Jim Gaffigan!
You might recognize him from Sierra Mist commercials and That 70's Show.
I love this guy. He's one of my favorites.
Sorry Emily, I hope you don't mind.
Power of Prayer Addendum
Please read my previous post, Power of Prayer, before reading this one. If you haven’t read that one already, I’ll wait for you to do so now. ….
…
Are you done yet? … Ok.
This just occurred to me. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this 5 days ago. (Warning: lame jazz joke ahead.)
Q: What time did Thelonious disappear from the roof of my car?
A: ‘Round Midnight!
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! … What do you mean you don’t get it?
In other news, Janell’s surgery went well. However, yesterday Richard Wright, the keyboard player for Pink Floyd, died of cancer at the age of 65.
…
Are you done yet? … Ok.
This just occurred to me. I can’t believe I didn’t think of this 5 days ago. (Warning: lame jazz joke ahead.)
Q: What time did Thelonious disappear from the roof of my car?
A: ‘Round Midnight!
HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! … What do you mean you don’t get it?
In other news, Janell’s surgery went well. However, yesterday Richard Wright, the keyboard player for Pink Floyd, died of cancer at the age of 65.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Power of Prayer
As I left work yesterday, I discovered a praying mantis sitting on the trunk of my car. I said to him “I hope you’re praying for strength to hold on, buddy. You’re about to go for a ride." I got in the car and drove the 5 miles home, my top speed being about 50 mph. By the time I was half-way home I could no longer see him in the rearview mirror. Goodbye mantis. Right?
Wrong. At 9:30 pm I went back to my car to go play volleyball, and he was still there, now sitting on the front of the roof like a misplaced hood ornament. Impressed by his tenacity, I drove off to the church building, a 9 mile trip with speeds up to 65 mph and a light rain. I figured his position on the trunk on his first trip must have partially sheltered him from the full force of the wind resistance. But now that he was on the roof and the car was going faster, he would surely blow away. When I got to my destination I didn’t even bother to look and see if he was still there.
I got done playing volleyball at 11:30 pm and walked out to my car. To my surprise, there he was sitting at the back of the roof. I decided he deserved a name. Anybody that spends so much time in a state of Zen-like prayer must be a monk. So I of course I named him Thelonious, after the greatest Monk of all.
When I got back home Thelonious was no longer there. I don’t think he was blown off. I think Thelonious has proven that he could handle anything that could be thrown at him. No, I believe that he realized that the territory he had claimed was a 1999 Ford Escort and he decided he could do better for himself. But I think he has taught us all a lesson on the power of prayer.
Speaking of prayers and tenacious people, I just want to let everybody know that my blog-buddy Janell - aka: "Frumpy Luv" - is going in on Monday 9/15/2008 to have a tumor removed from her brain. She is an amazing woman who can make others laugh even while she is in the midst of circumstances that would crush anybody else. (Just read any of her travel stories.) She is in my prayers and I hope you will mention her in yours as well.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
More COWBELL!
| Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj |
You can never go wrong with more cowbell. Go ahead and make your own.
Blasted! There was one of "I Love To See The Temple." I tried to embed it here, but it won't let me because of some html error.
Here is what I was going to say:
"NO, I did not make this one (I have a little bit more rhythm), this one was actually already on the page! It says it was created 1 minute ago. Kudos to the random LDS cowbellist!"
I'll do my best to get a link or something, but it's not looking good.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
T-Shirts
Here you go, folks! The Fall fashions for my very own line of t-shirts. There are plenty of sites online where you can design your own. (No, I didn't order any of these. I just like to come up with ideas.)
I'm sure this one has to exist already, but I haven't seen it yet. So I made my own.
This one might need some explaining unless you're one of my biking buddies. I've observed a phenomenon I call "the Post-Ride Stupid." After a long hard ride, I tend to do some moronic thing I probably would not have done otherwise, i.e. leave the top of my bottle open and spill Gatorade all over the inside of my bag, or drive my car over a parking block, etc. I think it has to do with exertion, heat, and lack of oxygen to my brain.
Don't let "The Man" tell you what to listen to. Do your own thing. There's a lot of wonderful music that never gets played on the radio.
Proudly declare your rebellion and independence with this thought provoking tee.
A wise man once said "Listening AC/DC is like splashing in a puddle. Listening to Prog is like swimming in the ocean." Show them all that you fight on the front lines for Progressive Rock Snobbery with this eye-catching shirt.
For my Whovian friends.
I'm sure this one has to exist already, but I haven't seen it yet. So I made my own.
This one might need some explaining unless you're one of my biking buddies. I've observed a phenomenon I call "the Post-Ride Stupid." After a long hard ride, I tend to do some moronic thing I probably would not have done otherwise, i.e. leave the top of my bottle open and spill Gatorade all over the inside of my bag, or drive my car over a parking block, etc. I think it has to do with exertion, heat, and lack of oxygen to my brain.
Don't let "The Man" tell you what to listen to. Do your own thing. There's a lot of wonderful music that never gets played on the radio.
Proudly declare your rebellion and independence with this thought provoking tee.
A wise man once said "Listening AC/DC is like splashing in a puddle. Listening to Prog is like swimming in the ocean." Show them all that you fight on the front lines for Progressive Rock Snobbery with this eye-catching shirt.
For my Whovian friends.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Happy Labor Day!
Labor Day is probably my favorite holiday. It’s just a day off with no strings attached. You don’t have to buy any cards or any presents. You don't have to decorate anything. Your family doesn’t have to travel all over in order to get together; if you do choose to get together it’s usually just a BBQ in the back yard. You don’t have to cook a giant feast. You don’t have to deal with nasty weather. You don’t have to remember its true meaning. You don’t have to deal with rampant commercialism except for the obligatory mattress sale. You don’t have to plan an elaborate surprise for somebody and take them out to a fancy dinner. You don’t have to give candy to children you don’t know and hope it doesn’t somehow turn into a lawsuit. There are no disputes about whether it’s racially/culturally/religiously acceptable. It’s just a day off for the sake of having a day off. So enjoy it.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Air Show
I went with Jeep & Princess Flip-Flop to the air show this weekend at the Air Force base. I had fun, saw some cool planes, took a tour through a few of them, got a little sunburned, saw some pretty awesome aerial acrobatics, and even bumped into Big Rig. But the highlight of my day came when we were walking through the crowd and saw a guy wearing a Dream Theater shirt. I gave him a double horned salute - \m/oo\m/ - and went about my day with a smile on my face, knowing that I had a prog-brother out there somewhere.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Featured Album: Oceansize
Album: Everyone Into Position
1. The Charm Offensive - Some funk, sounds like King's X at times (good)
2. Heaven Alive - Upbeat. Reminds me a bit of Collective Soul. Excellent vocal harmonies. Very good.
3. A Homage to a Shame - Musically reminds me of Tool - especially the bass. Some vocals remind me of Oblivious by James LaBrie
4. Meredith - Slow with a prominent bass line. Porcupine Tree meets Tears For Fears (good combo). Featured on an episode of The O.C. (not that I watch The O.C. but I read about it.)
5. Music for a Nurse - Very slow build. Starts out by simply playing the chord progression, slowly adds other elements. Reaches an intentionaly awkward plateau 3/4s through. Ending is conflicted, vocals rise up as they fade away. Music slowly touches back down to earth. Excellent musical symbolism if you have the patience. This song was used in a TV commercial for a cell phone company called Orange. Great song.
6. New Pin - Reminds me of Muse and some other modern mainstream act(s) I can't put my finger on since I've stopped listening to the radio.
7. No Tomorrow - A bit too mainstream for me. Vocals remind me of Daughtry (not good, too generic). Has good instrumental moments reminiscent of the band Tool, and Raise the Knife by DT. Ending reminds me of a song from Joe Satriani's Engines of Creation (good thing).
8. Mine Host - Very slow. At 4:09, it's the shortest song on the album by a full minute and yet tends to drag on because the song doesn't move much.
9. You Can't Keep a Bad Man Down - Very remeniscent of Spacehog (not a bad thing), but too repetative. Repeats same pattern until 4:15, suddenly breaks for a quiet section until 5:10, then goes back to the previous pattern with only a slight variation.
10. Ornament / The Last Wrongs - Very slowly builds on a theme. Calming. Available to hear at ProgArchives.
Artist: Oceansize
Year: 2005
Oceansize is a British alternative rock band that I would describe as artsy, spacey, and a bit on the commercial side of prog. They are excelent at creating a very spacious soundscape.
Here is the tracklist as well as my random comments regarding each song:
Here is the tracklist as well as my random comments regarding each song:
1. The Charm Offensive - Some funk, sounds like King's X at times (good)
2. Heaven Alive - Upbeat. Reminds me a bit of Collective Soul. Excellent vocal harmonies. Very good.
3. A Homage to a Shame - Musically reminds me of Tool - especially the bass. Some vocals remind me of Oblivious by James LaBrie
4. Meredith - Slow with a prominent bass line. Porcupine Tree meets Tears For Fears (good combo). Featured on an episode of The O.C. (not that I watch The O.C. but I read about it.)
5. Music for a Nurse - Very slow build. Starts out by simply playing the chord progression, slowly adds other elements. Reaches an intentionaly awkward plateau 3/4s through. Ending is conflicted, vocals rise up as they fade away. Music slowly touches back down to earth. Excellent musical symbolism if you have the patience. This song was used in a TV commercial for a cell phone company called Orange. Great song.
6. New Pin - Reminds me of Muse and some other modern mainstream act(s) I can't put my finger on since I've stopped listening to the radio.
7. No Tomorrow - A bit too mainstream for me. Vocals remind me of Daughtry (not good, too generic). Has good instrumental moments reminiscent of the band Tool, and Raise the Knife by DT. Ending reminds me of a song from Joe Satriani's Engines of Creation (good thing).
8. Mine Host - Very slow. At 4:09, it's the shortest song on the album by a full minute and yet tends to drag on because the song doesn't move much.
9. You Can't Keep a Bad Man Down - Very remeniscent of Spacehog (not a bad thing), but too repetative. Repeats same pattern until 4:15, suddenly breaks for a quiet section until 5:10, then goes back to the previous pattern with only a slight variation.
10. Ornament / The Last Wrongs - Very slowly builds on a theme. Calming. Available to hear at ProgArchives.
The Verdict: A couple parts are a bit too repetative/static for me, but it's still a very good disc. Great to listen to at work, or as background music around my less-proggy friends. It's mostly relaxed but has it's share of exciting moments. I would buy their other albums if I found them at the used music shop.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
More Camping Pics
Jeep & Princess Flip-Flop in the '46.
Clockwise from driver: Caleep, J-9, Jet Li, Icrad in the '49.
Muddy wheel with a small albino grasshopper on the rim.
The '46
Even more pictures will come later.
Sidenote: I just noticed that the first day of our trip 8/06/2008 is EXACTLY a year to the day after the Dream Theater concert. Awesome things must happen on this date.
Camping!
Camping at Stockdale Park, Tuttle Creek Lake, Kansas 8/6/2008 - 8/9/2008
The Peeps:
Kevineb
Big Rig
Jet Li
J-9
Icrad
Princess Flip-Flop
Jeep
Steep (Jeep's brother)
Caleep (Jeep's brother)
Pistachio (Steep's flavor of the week)
Cinder (Jeep & Princess' dog)
The Willys:
1946 (black)
1948 (green)
1949 (red)
Day 1: Arrival
Princess Flip-Flop, Icrad, Jet Li, and J-9 left early to set up camp. Caleep, Steep, and Pistachio met them there towing both the 48 and the 49 behind Caleep's truck. Jeep, Big Rig, Cinder, and I left after work and towed the 46 on the trailer. We arrived shortly after dark, ate some foil dinners, made s'mores and talked around the campfire. The boys slept in the large tent I borrowed from my sister-in-law. She told me it was her baby and I would be in big trouble if anything happened to it. The girls slept in the other tent except for J-9 The Adventurous. J-9 slept under the stars with her sleeping bag on a tarp. In the morning she reports that she was greeted in the middle of the night by a frog and some furry woodland creature "larger than a squirrel."
Day 2: There Will Be Mud
I slept horribly. I may have gotten 3 or 4 hours of low quality sleep. I don't know if it was because of the weird curvature of the ground under my spot in the tent, or because space was a little cramped, or because there were other people around, but it was not a good night for me. After a lovely breakfast we head out for the off-road trails. I'm grateful that it was cloudy and not too hot. I started out in the back of the 48 next to Big Rig with Steep at the helm and Pistachio riding shotgun. To initiate us I suppose, Steep promptly drives us over the edge of a cliff. After bouncing off a few boulders we come to an abrupt stop facing down into the ravine with the jeep standing on the front bumper against a large rock and gasoline pouring out of the tank. We were able to push the rock away to let Caleep drive it down to the bottom.
Eventually I put the camera down and helped move the rock.
The jeep was stuck near where Big Rig is standing (yellow shirt). Sorry it's fuzzy.
Continuing on, Steep and Caleep show us how to get a jeep to climb vertical rocks that are nearly as tall as the tires. We lost the 46 with Jeep and Flip-Flop for most of the afternoon. I drove the 48 for a while with J-9 and Steep. It took me a while to trust the engine braking while going down steep slopes, but eventually I got the hang of it. The engine slows it down MUCH better than the lousy brakes. Icrad drove the 49 with Caleep and Pistachio. Big Rig drove his Dodge Ram for a while with Jet Li and Cinder while Jeep and Flip-Flop went for a spin in their Kia Sportage, somehow getting separated from the group again.
After dinner, Princess Flip-Flop, Jeep, Jet Li, Icrad, and J-9 went for a dip in the lake while Big Rig stood by on Life Guard Duty. Cinder and I went for a jog. My theory was that jogging would temporarily wake myself up, and would also ensure I was so exhausted I would have no choice but to sleep that night. Caleep built a fire while Steep and Pistachio wandered off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what. I did sleep much better this night.
Day 3: The Little Engine That Almost Could
Friday was sunny and hot. I bathed myself in sunscreen over and over. We lost the 46 with Jeep and Flip-Flop again in the morning.
After lunch I rode in the back of the 46 next to Icrad with Jeep driving, Flip-Flop riding shotgun, and Cinder sitting in between the seats. It was quite exciting considering the rear seat in the 46 does not have any seatbelts yet. The 46 doesn't seem to like going up hills. Instead it likes to die about 3/4s of the way up, leaving us to roll down the hill backwards with only a hint of braking power (the 46 had NO brakes earlier, but Jeep "fixed" it so it had some brakes at this time.)
As I was with Jeep's group he somehow got separated from the group again. In our absence the rest of the group had some fun. As I understand the story, Caleep drove the 48 down a hill and got sucked into a deep rut, nearly tipping the jeep on its side and steering it toward a tree. The front of the jeep passed by the tree, but the taller roll bar crashed into a large branch as a smaller branch poked through the windshield. The impact caused major damage to the frame and separated part of the body at the driver's "door". I'll post pictures of the damage later when I get copies from the others.
Caleep, Steep, and Pistachio had to leave after lunch, taking the 48 and the 49 with them, thus ending the off-roading portion of our trip.
Steep, Pistachio, Jet Li, Icrad, Caleep, J-9, Big Rig, Kevineb, Princess Flip-Flop, Jeep, Cinder
Somehow the previous swimmers convinced Big Rig and I to go swimming with them. I don't swim very often or very well, but we had a lot of fun. We skipped rocks, launched each other out of the water, and played chicken. The girls were tough enough to have the guys on their shoulders for a while too.
Friday night we all decided to sleep under the stars on the tarp. Well, all of us except for Big Rig who went to get his pillow and sleeping bag out of the tent and was so tempted to take a nap first that he never came back out. Icrad and I stayed up pretty late talking to each other, which was really nice because we don't see each other very often. We overheard a man in a truck from the park service tell the group next to us to clean up their food because there have been many reports about raccoons. We decided not to share this information with J-9 who had the encounter with the mystery creature on the first night.
Day 4: Evacuation
After Flip-Flop yelled at us sometime around 3:00am, Icrad and I decided to shut up and go to sleep. I slept well for the first couple hours, but woke up at about 5:00am. I heard thunder in the distance and since I couldn't get back to sleep I figured I would wait to see if it would rain so I could warn the others. The rain started at 5:30am and we all scrambled to the tents. At 7:00am the girls awoke and discovered their tent was filling with water, so they joined us in the larger tent. We continued dozing in and out of sleep for about another hour; or at least I did, so I'm guess everybody else did too. We were having a breakfast of yogurt and granola bars when the wind started to get pretty strong and the walls of the tent started billowing inward. Having fought a good fight, at 9:00am the wall of the tent came down.
We evacuated the tent and quickly packed everything up. I was folding up a tarp with two corners in each hand and the wind nearly lifted me off the ground like a parasail. The force of the wind split three of the fiberglass tent poles, broke two stakes - one by snapping the head off and the other by ripping it apart like pealing a banana. The stakes are pounded through metal rings that resemble large key rings - a single metal piece coiled around twice. The force of the wind pulling the tent away from the stake pulled one of the rings out of shape until it was one big loop.
By 10:00am we were on the road heading back home.
In the tent shortly before the collapse.
Big Rig (throwing rock horns to the camera, our traditional salute), Jet Li, J-9 (a bit sun burned), Icrad, and Kevineb
You've got to love these girls. They hadn't seen a real shower in days, they were unpleasantly awakened at 5:30am and again at 7:00, makeup is the furthest thing from their minds, and yet early in the morning they still look fantastic.
Quotes:
- You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass of yourself and some guy named Umption. (Jeep fails on his delivery.)
- Let me look at this first. I wouldn't want to pull a Steep. (Caleep's final words before he nearly broke the 48 in half.)
- You may not realize this, but I took my shorts off 15 minutes ago. (Kevineb joking to Icrad while swimming in the lake.)
- Come here, baby. Kiss me. (Kevineb's secret to winning a game of Chicken.)
- Somebody go check on Pistachio. Make sure she's not purging. (Many times by many people.)
- You wouldn't happen to know anything about jeeps, would you? (Stranger in distress speaking to Jeep.)
- I've never slept outside before. (Pistachio)
- I've never driven on a dirt road before. (Pistachio)
- I've never used a toilet that doesn't flush before. (Pistachio)
- Oh look! A vacuum hose! (Jeep finds the exact piece he needs to fix the Kia's 4-wheel-drive out lying along the trail.)
- Wow, after this I think I have a new respect for Browning tents. (Icrad, just seconds before the poles snapped, the stakes broke, and the tent collapsed.)
- This trip just went from Awesome to Epic, and is quickly approaching Legendary status. (Kevineb)
More pictures will be posted later.
The Peeps:
Kevineb
Big Rig
Jet Li
J-9
Icrad
Princess Flip-Flop
Jeep
Steep (Jeep's brother)
Caleep (Jeep's brother)
Pistachio (Steep's flavor of the week)
Cinder (Jeep & Princess' dog)
The Willys:
1946 (black)
1948 (green)
1949 (red)
Day 1: Arrival
Princess Flip-Flop, Icrad, Jet Li, and J-9 left early to set up camp. Caleep, Steep, and Pistachio met them there towing both the 48 and the 49 behind Caleep's truck. Jeep, Big Rig, Cinder, and I left after work and towed the 46 on the trailer. We arrived shortly after dark, ate some foil dinners, made s'mores and talked around the campfire. The boys slept in the large tent I borrowed from my sister-in-law. She told me it was her baby and I would be in big trouble if anything happened to it. The girls slept in the other tent except for J-9 The Adventurous. J-9 slept under the stars with her sleeping bag on a tarp. In the morning she reports that she was greeted in the middle of the night by a frog and some furry woodland creature "larger than a squirrel."
Day 2: There Will Be Mud
I slept horribly. I may have gotten 3 or 4 hours of low quality sleep. I don't know if it was because of the weird curvature of the ground under my spot in the tent, or because space was a little cramped, or because there were other people around, but it was not a good night for me. After a lovely breakfast we head out for the off-road trails. I'm grateful that it was cloudy and not too hot. I started out in the back of the 48 next to Big Rig with Steep at the helm and Pistachio riding shotgun. To initiate us I suppose, Steep promptly drives us over the edge of a cliff. After bouncing off a few boulders we come to an abrupt stop facing down into the ravine with the jeep standing on the front bumper against a large rock and gasoline pouring out of the tank. We were able to push the rock away to let Caleep drive it down to the bottom.
Eventually I put the camera down and helped move the rock.
The jeep was stuck near where Big Rig is standing (yellow shirt). Sorry it's fuzzy.
Continuing on, Steep and Caleep show us how to get a jeep to climb vertical rocks that are nearly as tall as the tires. We lost the 46 with Jeep and Flip-Flop for most of the afternoon. I drove the 48 for a while with J-9 and Steep. It took me a while to trust the engine braking while going down steep slopes, but eventually I got the hang of it. The engine slows it down MUCH better than the lousy brakes. Icrad drove the 49 with Caleep and Pistachio. Big Rig drove his Dodge Ram for a while with Jet Li and Cinder while Jeep and Flip-Flop went for a spin in their Kia Sportage, somehow getting separated from the group again.
After dinner, Princess Flip-Flop, Jeep, Jet Li, Icrad, and J-9 went for a dip in the lake while Big Rig stood by on Life Guard Duty. Cinder and I went for a jog. My theory was that jogging would temporarily wake myself up, and would also ensure I was so exhausted I would have no choice but to sleep that night. Caleep built a fire while Steep and Pistachio wandered off to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what. I did sleep much better this night.
Day 3: The Little Engine That Almost Could
Friday was sunny and hot. I bathed myself in sunscreen over and over. We lost the 46 with Jeep and Flip-Flop again in the morning.
After lunch I rode in the back of the 46 next to Icrad with Jeep driving, Flip-Flop riding shotgun, and Cinder sitting in between the seats. It was quite exciting considering the rear seat in the 46 does not have any seatbelts yet. The 46 doesn't seem to like going up hills. Instead it likes to die about 3/4s of the way up, leaving us to roll down the hill backwards with only a hint of braking power (the 46 had NO brakes earlier, but Jeep "fixed" it so it had some brakes at this time.)
As I was with Jeep's group he somehow got separated from the group again. In our absence the rest of the group had some fun. As I understand the story, Caleep drove the 48 down a hill and got sucked into a deep rut, nearly tipping the jeep on its side and steering it toward a tree. The front of the jeep passed by the tree, but the taller roll bar crashed into a large branch as a smaller branch poked through the windshield. The impact caused major damage to the frame and separated part of the body at the driver's "door". I'll post pictures of the damage later when I get copies from the others.
Caleep, Steep, and Pistachio had to leave after lunch, taking the 48 and the 49 with them, thus ending the off-roading portion of our trip.
Steep, Pistachio, Jet Li, Icrad, Caleep, J-9, Big Rig, Kevineb, Princess Flip-Flop, Jeep, Cinder
Somehow the previous swimmers convinced Big Rig and I to go swimming with them. I don't swim very often or very well, but we had a lot of fun. We skipped rocks, launched each other out of the water, and played chicken. The girls were tough enough to have the guys on their shoulders for a while too.
Friday night we all decided to sleep under the stars on the tarp. Well, all of us except for Big Rig who went to get his pillow and sleeping bag out of the tent and was so tempted to take a nap first that he never came back out. Icrad and I stayed up pretty late talking to each other, which was really nice because we don't see each other very often. We overheard a man in a truck from the park service tell the group next to us to clean up their food because there have been many reports about raccoons. We decided not to share this information with J-9 who had the encounter with the mystery creature on the first night.
Day 4: Evacuation
After Flip-Flop yelled at us sometime around 3:00am, Icrad and I decided to shut up and go to sleep. I slept well for the first couple hours, but woke up at about 5:00am. I heard thunder in the distance and since I couldn't get back to sleep I figured I would wait to see if it would rain so I could warn the others. The rain started at 5:30am and we all scrambled to the tents. At 7:00am the girls awoke and discovered their tent was filling with water, so they joined us in the larger tent. We continued dozing in and out of sleep for about another hour; or at least I did, so I'm guess everybody else did too. We were having a breakfast of yogurt and granola bars when the wind started to get pretty strong and the walls of the tent started billowing inward. Having fought a good fight, at 9:00am the wall of the tent came down.
We evacuated the tent and quickly packed everything up. I was folding up a tarp with two corners in each hand and the wind nearly lifted me off the ground like a parasail. The force of the wind split three of the fiberglass tent poles, broke two stakes - one by snapping the head off and the other by ripping it apart like pealing a banana. The stakes are pounded through metal rings that resemble large key rings - a single metal piece coiled around twice. The force of the wind pulling the tent away from the stake pulled one of the rings out of shape until it was one big loop.
By 10:00am we were on the road heading back home.
In the tent shortly before the collapse.
Big Rig (throwing rock horns to the camera, our traditional salute), Jet Li, J-9 (a bit sun burned), Icrad, and Kevineb
You've got to love these girls. They hadn't seen a real shower in days, they were unpleasantly awakened at 5:30am and again at 7:00, makeup is the furthest thing from their minds, and yet early in the morning they still look fantastic.
Quotes:
- You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass of yourself and some guy named Umption. (Jeep fails on his delivery.)
- Let me look at this first. I wouldn't want to pull a Steep. (Caleep's final words before he nearly broke the 48 in half.)
- You may not realize this, but I took my shorts off 15 minutes ago. (Kevineb joking to Icrad while swimming in the lake.)
- Come here, baby. Kiss me. (Kevineb's secret to winning a game of Chicken.)
- Somebody go check on Pistachio. Make sure she's not purging. (Many times by many people.)
- You wouldn't happen to know anything about jeeps, would you? (Stranger in distress speaking to Jeep.)
- I've never slept outside before. (Pistachio)
- I've never driven on a dirt road before. (Pistachio)
- I've never used a toilet that doesn't flush before. (Pistachio)
- Oh look! A vacuum hose! (Jeep finds the exact piece he needs to fix the Kia's 4-wheel-drive out lying along the trail.)
- Wow, after this I think I have a new respect for Browning tents. (Icrad, just seconds before the poles snapped, the stakes broke, and the tent collapsed.)
- This trip just went from Awesome to Epic, and is quickly approaching Legendary status. (Kevineb)
More pictures will be posted later.
Monday, July 28, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRINCESS!
YAAAY!! Today Princess Flip-Flop is ... um ... exactly the same age she was at this time last year. Have a great birthday, Flip-Flop!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Jewel of Creation
"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." This much is commonly known; He separated the light and the dark, created the land, the water, mountains, rivers, oceans, deserts, trees and flowers and other plants, fish, birds, and land animals, etc.
Then He created Man. The design for Man is a basic, tried and true format. God merely had to look in the mirror for a prototype. Men are simple and rugged, like a single-speed bicycle; the seemingly primitive components performing well at their specified functions. They may not be very fancy, devoid of bells and whistles, but they work well and are easy to maintain.
Then as a companion to Man, in the final moments of the Creation, He created the piece de resistance … Woman - which when translated means "New Man", or "Man v2.0 Upgrade Patch." This new model was to compensate for the shortcomings of the original design, mainly the man's inability to bear offspring and raise them into adulthood.
(Footnote 1: There was a little known prototype called Man v1.4 that could self-reproduce, but was otherwise still male. This design failed when it was realized that none of the next generation ever survived into adulthood. The adult male would either fail to care for the young, abandoning them to be devoured by beasts, or when the adult found that the child was not very productive at obtaining its share of food, he would do what he deemed to be most efficient for his own survival … he ate the young himself.)
The Software Team quickly went to work writing code for the Woman's psyche that would allow her to be more caring and nurturing. The female mind was programmed to be vastly different than the Man's. The Man made decisions by logically analyzing sets of facts. The Woman was less logical, but instead she was blessed with intuition, compassion, and empathy; concepts that Men are still trying to grasp ages later.
(Footnote 2: The Woman's diminished aptitude for logical reasoning is often misunderstood, and in fact many "modern" philosophers claim that women are equally, if not more logical than men. The truth is that this so-called "flaw" was personally suggested by God to solve a critical problem. Namely, if Women were highly logical they would never be attracted to Men; they would completely avoid the ugly, odorous brutes altogether. Women would congregate together in civilized, well-decorated societies until the species died off. Some women claim they have highly superior logical skills and demonstrate this by being attracted to other women - just as the men are. Yet these women are attracted to women that look, sound, and behave much like men, thus reaping the worst of both situations: failing to further the species and also being fond of unattractive hairy beasts, thus proving themselves to have inferior intelligence and lacking any logic at all.)
God put his best team of Exterior Designers on the task of modeling the female appearance. This team had already designed mountains, waterfalls, forests, flowers, kittens, coral reefs, and even experimented in the deep sea with fish that would brightly light up with different colors. The bar was set high: This was to be the crowning glory of the Earth's creation. In addition to that, it must be something that could tame the savage Men while simultaneously filling them with passion, for this plan required both parties to participate together and Man does not like to admit to needing the assistance of another being.
The Exterior Design team were true artists and succeeded in creating the most beautiful sight in all of the Creation. Balance was achieved as her bodily form and gracefulness could drive a man wild, yet her enchanting eyes could stop him in his tracks and melt him into a puddle of goo. God was so pleased with this design that He instructed all other teams to fit their systems into this body without allowing any aesthetic changes. And thus began the everlasting conflict between artists and engineers: Form vs. Function.
Every mechanical engineer knows not to finalize the exterior specifications first because the required parts may not fit into the shape provided. The deadline was fast approaching, and on top of it all, it was the last day before God left on vacation so His head was not in the game, especially after the unveiling of the female's exterior design.
The Reproduction Team was under the most pressure. With the deadline so near, they had very little time to test the new system with the other systems of the body. In a scene that most engineers, designers, and builders are familiar with, as the clock ticked toward the final deadline their attitude changed from "This will be the greatest thing ever!" to "Just cram it in there and hope it works." The hormones used to regulate the reproductive system were not completely compatible with the brains operating system, resulting in various bugs and glitches.
(Footnote 3: Various effects of the glitches resulting from the incompatibility of the reproductive hormones with the main operating system include: extreme mood swings ranging from sweet and amorous to Raging She-Beast, weeping for no apparent reason, bloating, cramps, and the desire to watch movies with excessive dialog and no explosions or fart jokes.)
A subcommittee had been tasked to make the system maintenance free, but in a tragic turn of events the entire committee called in sick that day.
The Reproductive Team had also been working together with the Software team to develop a program that would disable the brain's pain receptors during child birth, but unfortunately there was not enough time to include this into the final design.
The final product is a Woman that is part goddess and part human. Although the Woman did not work out quite as perfectly as God had envisioned, the plan is still a success. Men love Women and - for some reason - Women love Men. In fact they love each other's strengths deeply enough to put up with, and in some cases even forgive the other's weaknesses.
Then He created Man. The design for Man is a basic, tried and true format. God merely had to look in the mirror for a prototype. Men are simple and rugged, like a single-speed bicycle; the seemingly primitive components performing well at their specified functions. They may not be very fancy, devoid of bells and whistles, but they work well and are easy to maintain.
Then as a companion to Man, in the final moments of the Creation, He created the piece de resistance … Woman - which when translated means "New Man", or "Man v2.0 Upgrade Patch." This new model was to compensate for the shortcomings of the original design, mainly the man's inability to bear offspring and raise them into adulthood.
(Footnote 1: There was a little known prototype called Man v1.4 that could self-reproduce, but was otherwise still male. This design failed when it was realized that none of the next generation ever survived into adulthood. The adult male would either fail to care for the young, abandoning them to be devoured by beasts, or when the adult found that the child was not very productive at obtaining its share of food, he would do what he deemed to be most efficient for his own survival … he ate the young himself.)
The Software Team quickly went to work writing code for the Woman's psyche that would allow her to be more caring and nurturing. The female mind was programmed to be vastly different than the Man's. The Man made decisions by logically analyzing sets of facts. The Woman was less logical, but instead she was blessed with intuition, compassion, and empathy; concepts that Men are still trying to grasp ages later.
(Footnote 2: The Woman's diminished aptitude for logical reasoning is often misunderstood, and in fact many "modern" philosophers claim that women are equally, if not more logical than men. The truth is that this so-called "flaw" was personally suggested by God to solve a critical problem. Namely, if Women were highly logical they would never be attracted to Men; they would completely avoid the ugly, odorous brutes altogether. Women would congregate together in civilized, well-decorated societies until the species died off. Some women claim they have highly superior logical skills and demonstrate this by being attracted to other women - just as the men are. Yet these women are attracted to women that look, sound, and behave much like men, thus reaping the worst of both situations: failing to further the species and also being fond of unattractive hairy beasts, thus proving themselves to have inferior intelligence and lacking any logic at all.)
God put his best team of Exterior Designers on the task of modeling the female appearance. This team had already designed mountains, waterfalls, forests, flowers, kittens, coral reefs, and even experimented in the deep sea with fish that would brightly light up with different colors. The bar was set high: This was to be the crowning glory of the Earth's creation. In addition to that, it must be something that could tame the savage Men while simultaneously filling them with passion, for this plan required both parties to participate together and Man does not like to admit to needing the assistance of another being.
The Exterior Design team were true artists and succeeded in creating the most beautiful sight in all of the Creation. Balance was achieved as her bodily form and gracefulness could drive a man wild, yet her enchanting eyes could stop him in his tracks and melt him into a puddle of goo. God was so pleased with this design that He instructed all other teams to fit their systems into this body without allowing any aesthetic changes. And thus began the everlasting conflict between artists and engineers: Form vs. Function.
Every mechanical engineer knows not to finalize the exterior specifications first because the required parts may not fit into the shape provided. The deadline was fast approaching, and on top of it all, it was the last day before God left on vacation so His head was not in the game, especially after the unveiling of the female's exterior design.
The Reproduction Team was under the most pressure. With the deadline so near, they had very little time to test the new system with the other systems of the body. In a scene that most engineers, designers, and builders are familiar with, as the clock ticked toward the final deadline their attitude changed from "This will be the greatest thing ever!" to "Just cram it in there and hope it works." The hormones used to regulate the reproductive system were not completely compatible with the brains operating system, resulting in various bugs and glitches.
(Footnote 3: Various effects of the glitches resulting from the incompatibility of the reproductive hormones with the main operating system include: extreme mood swings ranging from sweet and amorous to Raging She-Beast, weeping for no apparent reason, bloating, cramps, and the desire to watch movies with excessive dialog and no explosions or fart jokes.)
A subcommittee had been tasked to make the system maintenance free, but in a tragic turn of events the entire committee called in sick that day.
The Reproductive Team had also been working together with the Software team to develop a program that would disable the brain's pain receptors during child birth, but unfortunately there was not enough time to include this into the final design.
The final product is a Woman that is part goddess and part human. Although the Woman did not work out quite as perfectly as God had envisioned, the plan is still a success. Men love Women and - for some reason - Women love Men. In fact they love each other's strengths deeply enough to put up with, and in some cases even forgive the other's weaknesses.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Words of Wisdom
If you wear headphones while you work, remember this one thing when you try to hold back a fart:
Just because you didn't hear it, does not mean everyone else didn't hear it.
Just because you didn't hear it, does not mean everyone else didn't hear it.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Featured Album: Godspeed
Victory is mine! The latest addition to my music collection is a band called Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and if you think the band’s name is strange, we've only gotten started.
The album title is Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven. How do I begin to describe it: Spacey, psychedelic, avant-garde art rock with guitars (electric and acoustic), upright bass, cellos, violins, glockenspiel, and an extra large dose of Weird. It’s mostly instrumental with a few spoken word audio clips thrown in: an old man reminiscing about Conney Island, a little girl singing in French, a crazy cult preacher, etc.
The album consists of 2 discs with 2 tracks on each disc. Each track has several movements within it, each with its own name. The shortest track is 19 minutes long.
The passive nature of this album should allow it to serve well as background music while I do other things that require more mental focus such as work or talk with friends. My usual Prog Metal is so intricate that it requires a certain amount of attention simply to listen to it. This album is more relaxing, although it does have its intense and/or intricate moments.
The album title is Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven. How do I begin to describe it: Spacey, psychedelic, avant-garde art rock with guitars (electric and acoustic), upright bass, cellos, violins, glockenspiel, and an extra large dose of Weird. It’s mostly instrumental with a few spoken word audio clips thrown in: an old man reminiscing about Conney Island, a little girl singing in French, a crazy cult preacher, etc.
The album consists of 2 discs with 2 tracks on each disc. Each track has several movements within it, each with its own name. The shortest track is 19 minutes long.
The passive nature of this album should allow it to serve well as background music while I do other things that require more mental focus such as work or talk with friends. My usual Prog Metal is so intricate that it requires a certain amount of attention simply to listen to it. This album is more relaxing, although it does have its intense and/or intricate moments.
As I was waiting for CD Tradepost to open Saturday morning I stopped at the Goodwill across the street. There I bought a Venaculas CD for $3. Remember, the 1 CD a Month rule is more of a guideline. It was only $3 and they are pretty descent for a local band.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Thrill of the Chase
As you know I’m a big music-lover, but my taste is a bit obscure and unique, which makes it very difficult to find CDs that I like. The types of music I listen to are not played on the radio and are rarely found in mainstream music stores, so for me, looking for CDs is like being Indiana Jones searching for ancient relics. There is a process that involves researching the band, hunting for the CDs, and then verifying that they will suit my taste.
I try to limit myself to 1 CD a month – although this is more of a guideline than a rule - so it is an honor for a CD to be chosen to join my elite collection. I thought it might be fun each month to write a review of my latest find. …Well, fun for me anyway. I know most of you will have no idea who these bands are, but you know me … I’m always willing to share.
Yesterday I was stoked. CD Tradepost’s online inventory indicated they had an album that I really wanted to try out. This is a very unique band that I was interested in hearing and sharing the experience with the rest of you (I’ll reveal what it is later). I went straight there after work, but the CD was nowhere to be found. I asked the cashier about it, he verified that the computer indicated the CD was at this store, and he helped me look around. We checked all the other sections of the store, just in case it was put in the wrong category, and I even checked the rows next to the places where it could be, just in case somebody picked it up out of curiosity and then accidentally returned it one or two rows away from where they got it.
But alas, this rarity eluded us. The cashier said he would call me if it resurfaces, but I know that this is unlikely.
I won’t give up. The hunt is on. The target has made its presence known, and has mocked me by walking through my crosshairs while my weapon malfunctioned. Now it dares to run and hide. But I will continue to track my prey. It will be mine. … Oh yes … It will be mine.
To be continued … hopefully…
I try to limit myself to 1 CD a month – although this is more of a guideline than a rule - so it is an honor for a CD to be chosen to join my elite collection. I thought it might be fun each month to write a review of my latest find. …Well, fun for me anyway. I know most of you will have no idea who these bands are, but you know me … I’m always willing to share.
Yesterday I was stoked. CD Tradepost’s online inventory indicated they had an album that I really wanted to try out. This is a very unique band that I was interested in hearing and sharing the experience with the rest of you (I’ll reveal what it is later). I went straight there after work, but the CD was nowhere to be found. I asked the cashier about it, he verified that the computer indicated the CD was at this store, and he helped me look around. We checked all the other sections of the store, just in case it was put in the wrong category, and I even checked the rows next to the places where it could be, just in case somebody picked it up out of curiosity and then accidentally returned it one or two rows away from where they got it.
But alas, this rarity eluded us. The cashier said he would call me if it resurfaces, but I know that this is unlikely.
I won’t give up. The hunt is on. The target has made its presence known, and has mocked me by walking through my crosshairs while my weapon malfunctioned. Now it dares to run and hide. But I will continue to track my prey. It will be mine. … Oh yes … It will be mine.
To be continued … hopefully…
Monday, June 23, 2008
Hardware Hilarity
Warning: This post is rated PG-13
This weekend I was helping my dad with a project. We made a trip to Home Depot to get a tube of epoxy adhesive. Before going to the checkout lane, my dad decided he needed to visit the restroom.
This is what NOT to say to your dad in this situation:
“Do you need me to hold your caulk while you pee?”
This weekend I was helping my dad with a project. We made a trip to Home Depot to get a tube of epoxy adhesive. Before going to the checkout lane, my dad decided he needed to visit the restroom.
This is what NOT to say to your dad in this situation:
“Do you need me to hold your caulk while you pee?”
Friday, June 20, 2008
You Grew Up in Iowa If:
Just for the record, I’m a Nebraskan – hence my user name. But I spent my adolescent years in a tiny town in Iowa. Iowa has been in the news a lot recently with all the tornados and floods, so I thought I’d post these. The first half was emailed to me by a friend. The second half, in green was written by Yours Truly. Some of them may only make sense if you lived in Manson.
You Grew Up in Iowa If:
- You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
- You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
- You buy Christmas presents at Farm Fleet.
- More is spent on beer & liquor than food at weddings.
- You or someone you know was a 'Pork Queen' at the county fair.
- You know that 'combine' is a noun AND a verb. (Actually, if you went to Iowa public schools, you probably have no idea what the difference is between a noun and a verb. - Kevineb)
- You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
- You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
- You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.
- Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set. - There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows or goats in the morning...phew!
- You have driven your car on the lake.
- Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. (Or every church dance. - Kevineb)
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
- You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- Pop is the only name for soda.
- You don't need to use your turn signals because everyone already knows where you are going.
- When you lose control of your vehicle and go into the ditch, the news will get back to town before you do!!!!!
Additions by Kevineb:
- You pronounce it "Fow Dodge"
- You were 18 before you ever met a person with any kind of ethnic background other than your own.
- Your town has the only stoplight in the county.
- You drive 25 miles to get to the nearest McDonalds.
- Every small town needs an excuse for a parade in the summer. Yours is the fact that decades ago the town was leveled by a tornado.
- Eventually they ditch the tornado theme in favor of the fact that it was hit by a meteorite millions of years ago.
- You are proud to see the story of the meteorite depicted on the side of a U-Haul.
- The land is so flat, when you look at the horizon you can see the back of your own head.
- You had the same high school Math teacher as your dad.
- A Tornado Watch doesn't bother you at all.
- Your tractor has more electronics than your home office.
- Once you meet a police car you go ahead and speed up, knowing he is the only one around.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see the snow falling straight down instead of sideways.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see mountains.
- The first thing you do every morning is scrape an inch of ice off your car.
- When something is diagonal you say it's "kitty corner." (This infuriates me! - Kev)
- You wear a cap that proudly advertises a brand of seed corn, and you discuss this topic in depth with your buddies.
- The best student in your Chemistry class lives in one of the Meth houses on your street.
- The only radio station within range plays both kinds of music: Country AND Western.
- On Monday you wore a t-shirt and played outside. On Wednesday you shoveled a foot of snow off the driveway.
- Your local newspaper is published once a week and the front page features a kid building a snowman with no mention of the recent drug busts.
- Your town has a dozen of them, but everybody knows exactly where you were at if you say you were at "the four-way stop."
- The biggest sledding hill in your area started at the shoulder of the highway and went into the drainage ditch.
- You remember taking the ITEDs every year.
- You know why there are miniature road signs in the ditch along the highway.
- You see somebody dipping their bicycle wheel into a river and you know why. (At least I think you should know why, but then I'm a cyclist AND I grew up in Iowa. - Kevineb)
- You know that the best corn is purchased from the back of a pickup on the side of the highway.
- You aren't surprised to find the stores are closed during the Cy-Hawk game.
- You know what the "Cy-Hawk" game is.
- You know the difference between the Golden Rule at ISU and the Golden Rule you learned in church.
- You or somebody you know has been involved in a grain explosion.
You Grew Up in Iowa If:
- You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
- You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
- You buy Christmas presents at Farm Fleet.
- More is spent on beer & liquor than food at weddings.
- You or someone you know was a 'Pork Queen' at the county fair.
- You know that 'combine' is a noun AND a verb. (Actually, if you went to Iowa public schools, you probably have no idea what the difference is between a noun and a verb. - Kevineb)
- You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
- You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
- You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.
- Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set. - There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows or goats in the morning...phew!
- You have driven your car on the lake.
- Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. (Or every church dance. - Kevineb)
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
- You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- Pop is the only name for soda.
- You don't need to use your turn signals because everyone already knows where you are going.
- When you lose control of your vehicle and go into the ditch, the news will get back to town before you do!!!!!
Additions by Kevineb:
- You pronounce it "Fow Dodge"
- You were 18 before you ever met a person with any kind of ethnic background other than your own.
- Your town has the only stoplight in the county.
- You drive 25 miles to get to the nearest McDonalds.
- Every small town needs an excuse for a parade in the summer. Yours is the fact that decades ago the town was leveled by a tornado.
- Eventually they ditch the tornado theme in favor of the fact that it was hit by a meteorite millions of years ago.
- You are proud to see the story of the meteorite depicted on the side of a U-Haul.
- The land is so flat, when you look at the horizon you can see the back of your own head.
- You had the same high school Math teacher as your dad.
- A Tornado Watch doesn't bother you at all.
- Your tractor has more electronics than your home office.
- Once you meet a police car you go ahead and speed up, knowing he is the only one around.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see the snow falling straight down instead of sideways.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see mountains.
- The first thing you do every morning is scrape an inch of ice off your car.
- When something is diagonal you say it's "kitty corner." (This infuriates me! - Kev)
- You wear a cap that proudly advertises a brand of seed corn, and you discuss this topic in depth with your buddies.
- The best student in your Chemistry class lives in one of the Meth houses on your street.
- The only radio station within range plays both kinds of music: Country AND Western.
- On Monday you wore a t-shirt and played outside. On Wednesday you shoveled a foot of snow off the driveway.
- Your local newspaper is published once a week and the front page features a kid building a snowman with no mention of the recent drug busts.
- Your town has a dozen of them, but everybody knows exactly where you were at if you say you were at "the four-way stop."
- The biggest sledding hill in your area started at the shoulder of the highway and went into the drainage ditch.
- You remember taking the ITEDs every year.
- You know why there are miniature road signs in the ditch along the highway.
- You see somebody dipping their bicycle wheel into a river and you know why. (At least I think you should know why, but then I'm a cyclist AND I grew up in Iowa. - Kevineb)
- You know that the best corn is purchased from the back of a pickup on the side of the highway.
- You aren't surprised to find the stores are closed during the Cy-Hawk game.
- You know what the "Cy-Hawk" game is.
- You know the difference between the Golden Rule at ISU and the Golden Rule you learned in church.
- You or somebody you know has been involved in a grain explosion.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Dogs = Guaranteed Chick Magnets
I guess I need a dog. It's well known that dogs are great chick magnets, but I have not been able to locate any solid research to explain why this is and how effectively it works. But then to be honest, I haven't looked for any research either. I'm afraid to Google "The Effects of Dogs on Women" on my computer at work. Maybe some of you ladies could fill me in on how this works.
There's a guy who brings his bulldog Nicki to FHE, and I'll admit it's a cute dog. When she comes wandering over, snorting at my ankles, I'll pet her for a bit. Nicki's owner doesn't hang on to her the whole time. He often hands the leash off to whoever wants it … Does that count as some kind of philanthropic charity service?
Last night I was talking with my friend Seashells and observing the magnet in action. Not to sound mean, but the guy holding the leash wasn't the type of guy I would expect to rank very high on a woman's Desirability Scale. Nicki led him over to an attractive young lady sitting in the grass and began sniffing around by her feet. The guy sat down next to her and they began to chat for several minutes. (Well done, Nicki! This dog must be very well trained.)
"Look!" I said to Seashells, "Do you think that girl would ever talk to that guy if it weren't for the dog? It would never happen." Seashells didn't have too much input. In fact I don't think girls are even aware that they are being manipulated by the powers of the dog, because then it happened right before my very eyes.
A couple minutes later Seashells blurted out "OK, I have to go pet the doggy!" and she left my side to go sit by the dog. I was speechless; all I could do was laugh. One minute she's there talking to me about dogs being used to get girls, then the next minute she's walking away to go play with the dog! I witnessed the entire thing and yet I had no idea what happened. It's like she was brainwashed into walking into a black hole.
Imagine two fish.
Fish #1: Look at that hook hanging there!
Fish #2: Yeah, I see it.
Fish #1: What is it about the colorful lures that make fish attracted to it? You can clearly see the hook and if you look carefully you can see the line on top. And yet other fish will still go right up and bite it. LOOK! That guy just bit it! There he goes!
Fish #2: Wow, he's a goner.
Fish #1: It's back! There's the hook again! Why does anybody fall for that trick?
Fish #2: I don't know. … … Well, I'm going to go over there and bite that thing.
Fish #1: NOOOOO! WHYYYYYY?
So I guess I need a dog. And for the record, there is no such thing as a Bachelor Cat!
There's a guy who brings his bulldog Nicki to FHE, and I'll admit it's a cute dog. When she comes wandering over, snorting at my ankles, I'll pet her for a bit. Nicki's owner doesn't hang on to her the whole time. He often hands the leash off to whoever wants it … Does that count as some kind of philanthropic charity service?
Last night I was talking with my friend Seashells and observing the magnet in action. Not to sound mean, but the guy holding the leash wasn't the type of guy I would expect to rank very high on a woman's Desirability Scale. Nicki led him over to an attractive young lady sitting in the grass and began sniffing around by her feet. The guy sat down next to her and they began to chat for several minutes. (Well done, Nicki! This dog must be very well trained.)
"Look!" I said to Seashells, "Do you think that girl would ever talk to that guy if it weren't for the dog? It would never happen." Seashells didn't have too much input. In fact I don't think girls are even aware that they are being manipulated by the powers of the dog, because then it happened right before my very eyes.
A couple minutes later Seashells blurted out "OK, I have to go pet the doggy!" and she left my side to go sit by the dog. I was speechless; all I could do was laugh. One minute she's there talking to me about dogs being used to get girls, then the next minute she's walking away to go play with the dog! I witnessed the entire thing and yet I had no idea what happened. It's like she was brainwashed into walking into a black hole.
Imagine two fish.
Fish #1: Look at that hook hanging there!
Fish #2: Yeah, I see it.
Fish #1: What is it about the colorful lures that make fish attracted to it? You can clearly see the hook and if you look carefully you can see the line on top. And yet other fish will still go right up and bite it. LOOK! That guy just bit it! There he goes!
Fish #2: Wow, he's a goner.
Fish #1: It's back! There's the hook again! Why does anybody fall for that trick?
Fish #2: I don't know. … … Well, I'm going to go over there and bite that thing.
Fish #1: NOOOOO! WHYYYYYY?
So I guess I need a dog. And for the record, there is no such thing as a Bachelor Cat!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
THREE YEARS FOR JEEP & PRINCESS FLIP-FLOP!!
The best friends a guy could ever ask for!
In honor of their third anniversay, here is another re-print from a year ago.
I love you both!
====================================================
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRIEDRICH!!!
This isn't Friedrich, it's his stunt double.
Yesterday (6/18/2007) my betta turned 2 years old. He started life as an orphan at the pet store. Then one magical day he and his four brothers were hand selected (by yours truly) for their solid blue coloring to sit in a place of honor as center pieces for the wedding reception of my best friends. (Oh yeah, Happy Anniversary Jeep & Princess Flip-Flop!!!) It was an enchanting evening as they were surrounded by hoards of admirers. “What a celebration!” they thought, “These nice people are throwing such a wonderful party to honor our release from the orphanage!”
But alas, the party ended and they found they were still in fact homeless. But some of the guests took pity on the poor fish and began adopting them one by one. They were a little sad to be separated from their brothers, but not too sad. After all, they are all male Siamese Fighting Fish, so they never learned to work and play well with others. He was sad because most of his brothers had already been adopted. He wondered if anybody would ever love him. But then a very nice couple picked him up and carried him away.
On the bumpy car ride home he almost got sea-sick (kind of ironic, huh.) But despite all the sloshing around, he could hear his new Mama and Daddy discussing what his name should be. “Wow! A name of my very own, to set me apart from all the rest. How exciting! I hope they pick a good one!” Then his daddy (who was very handsome, by the way) suggested a name that he had heard several times that weekend. A name that wasn’t degrading and embarrassing like “Mr. Bubbles” or “Finny”. A name that no other fish would have. The middle name of his friend who was married. The name was Friedrich! “FRIEDRICH!! I HAVE A NAME!!! MY NAME IS FRIEDRICH! Oh, what a wonderful name!” Friedrich was so excited he nearly jumped out of his bowl.
Mama and Daddy were very generous. They gave him a larger bowl and decorated it with colorful rocks. And they gave him a wonderful little cave that he could swim through and hide under. Mama and Daddy clapped and cheered the first time he was brave enough to swim completely through the top of the cave.
Mama and Daddy were a little silly. When they would leave for work they would say things like, “Friedrich, you better have that kitchen clean by the time we get back.” Or, “You better not throw any wild parties while we’re gone.” And when they would get home they would say things like, “Friedrich, did you make this mess in here? Bad fishy!”
Friedrich would get very confused, “But I stayed in my bowl! I’m a good fish!”
Life was not always easy. Mama once dropped him on the floor when she was cleaning his bowl for the first time. She picked him up and he was OK, but Mama never cleaned his bowl again. I guess it scared her as much as it scared Friedrich. And then they got a big cat named Pippin. One time, while everybody was away, Pippin drank the water in Friedrich’s bowl. “He sucked away half my universe!” But Pippin never tried to hurt Friedrich and eventually they learned to co-exist. They would even sit together on the very top of the tall desk.
But then they got another cat…The Bad One. The little demon called Galileo. At first Galileo was too small to get to Friedrich, but before long Galileo could jump up to the counter and he was very eager to explore. He would knock the cover off the top of the bowl and sometimes stick his paw or face into the bowl. The bowl is plastic and it now has claw marks on it that show how Galileo played too roughly. The Little Terror was very frightening.
Daddy seemed to move around a lot. Friedrich didn’t like moving. It was very stressful and Friedrich was starting to get old. He had out-lived all his brothers. For a long time he had trouble finding his food at the top of his bowl. The day before his second birthday, Daddy moved him to a new home. Daddy told him “Happy birthday!” as he went to work the next morning, and even sang to him after he got home. Friedrich was very excited about his birthday. Two years is very old for a betta. But he did not have the strength to go any longer. Before his birthday was finished his spirit went to The Great Aquarium in the Sky.
Daddy moved him one last time. This time he was moved to a different kind of bowl. The sides of this bowl were not clear. Instead they were solid white, and there was a long tunnel at the bottom. The water started to swirl around and around, but this time he did not get sea sick. No, he would never be sick again. He went very quickly through the tunnel and was laid to rest in a giant cave, much larger than the cave he called home for so long.
The End
In Loving Memory of my Little Blue Baby.
The best friends a guy could ever ask for!
In honor of their third anniversay, here is another re-print from a year ago.
I love you both!
====================================================
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRIEDRICH!!!
This isn't Friedrich, it's his stunt double.Yesterday (6/18/2007) my betta turned 2 years old. He started life as an orphan at the pet store. Then one magical day he and his four brothers were hand selected (by yours truly) for their solid blue coloring to sit in a place of honor as center pieces for the wedding reception of my best friends. (Oh yeah, Happy Anniversary Jeep & Princess Flip-Flop!!!) It was an enchanting evening as they were surrounded by hoards of admirers. “What a celebration!” they thought, “These nice people are throwing such a wonderful party to honor our release from the orphanage!”
But alas, the party ended and they found they were still in fact homeless. But some of the guests took pity on the poor fish and began adopting them one by one. They were a little sad to be separated from their brothers, but not too sad. After all, they are all male Siamese Fighting Fish, so they never learned to work and play well with others. He was sad because most of his brothers had already been adopted. He wondered if anybody would ever love him. But then a very nice couple picked him up and carried him away.
On the bumpy car ride home he almost got sea-sick (kind of ironic, huh.) But despite all the sloshing around, he could hear his new Mama and Daddy discussing what his name should be. “Wow! A name of my very own, to set me apart from all the rest. How exciting! I hope they pick a good one!” Then his daddy (who was very handsome, by the way) suggested a name that he had heard several times that weekend. A name that wasn’t degrading and embarrassing like “Mr. Bubbles” or “Finny”. A name that no other fish would have. The middle name of his friend who was married. The name was Friedrich! “FRIEDRICH!! I HAVE A NAME!!! MY NAME IS FRIEDRICH! Oh, what a wonderful name!” Friedrich was so excited he nearly jumped out of his bowl.
Mama and Daddy were very generous. They gave him a larger bowl and decorated it with colorful rocks. And they gave him a wonderful little cave that he could swim through and hide under. Mama and Daddy clapped and cheered the first time he was brave enough to swim completely through the top of the cave.
Mama and Daddy were a little silly. When they would leave for work they would say things like, “Friedrich, you better have that kitchen clean by the time we get back.” Or, “You better not throw any wild parties while we’re gone.” And when they would get home they would say things like, “Friedrich, did you make this mess in here? Bad fishy!”
Friedrich would get very confused, “But I stayed in my bowl! I’m a good fish!”
Life was not always easy. Mama once dropped him on the floor when she was cleaning his bowl for the first time. She picked him up and he was OK, but Mama never cleaned his bowl again. I guess it scared her as much as it scared Friedrich. And then they got a big cat named Pippin. One time, while everybody was away, Pippin drank the water in Friedrich’s bowl. “He sucked away half my universe!” But Pippin never tried to hurt Friedrich and eventually they learned to co-exist. They would even sit together on the very top of the tall desk.
But then they got another cat…The Bad One. The little demon called Galileo. At first Galileo was too small to get to Friedrich, but before long Galileo could jump up to the counter and he was very eager to explore. He would knock the cover off the top of the bowl and sometimes stick his paw or face into the bowl. The bowl is plastic and it now has claw marks on it that show how Galileo played too roughly. The Little Terror was very frightening.
Daddy seemed to move around a lot. Friedrich didn’t like moving. It was very stressful and Friedrich was starting to get old. He had out-lived all his brothers. For a long time he had trouble finding his food at the top of his bowl. The day before his second birthday, Daddy moved him to a new home. Daddy told him “Happy birthday!” as he went to work the next morning, and even sang to him after he got home. Friedrich was very excited about his birthday. Two years is very old for a betta. But he did not have the strength to go any longer. Before his birthday was finished his spirit went to The Great Aquarium in the Sky.
Daddy moved him one last time. This time he was moved to a different kind of bowl. The sides of this bowl were not clear. Instead they were solid white, and there was a long tunnel at the bottom. The water started to swirl around and around, but this time he did not get sea sick. No, he would never be sick again. He went very quickly through the tunnel and was laid to rest in a giant cave, much larger than the cave he called home for so long.
The End
In Loving Memory of my Little Blue Baby.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Dating Application
Thank you for showing interest in dating Kevineb. In order to help the selection process work efficiently, please fill out the following application.
Application for Dating Consideration
(Form A-2.2)
Name: __________________
Phone #: ________________
Address: ________________
Age: ___________________
[Attach photo of applicant here]
[Attach photo of applicant's mother here]
Height: _______
Weight: _______
Hair Color: ______
Eye Color: _______
Gender: _________
Have you always been a member of that gender: _______
(Please note: ALL MALES are automatically disqualified!)
What type of relationship are you seeking:
___ A) Buddies
___ B) Casual Dating
___ C) Committed Relationship
___ D) Strictly Physical / Booty Call
___ E) Friends With Benefits
(If "YES" to Friends With Benefits, complete and attach the original white copy of FWB Terms & Conditions {Form B-1.0}. Retain the yellow copy for your own records.)
___ F) You've already sent wedding invitations to your relatives.
(If "YES" regarding invitations, please tear up this application and never speak to Kevineb again.)
Current Occupation: ___________ Intended Career Field: ________
Are you currently attending college: _____
Course of study: ________________ GPA: _____
Select your current educational status:
___ High School Graduate
___ Some College
___ Associate's Degree
___ Bachelor's
___ Master's
___ PHD
Have you ever been diagnosed with or treated for any type of mental disorder: ____
If YES, please explain: _______________________________
Has anybody in your family been diagnosed with any type of mental disorder: ____
If YES, please explain: _______________________________
List all prescription medications you are currently taking, what they are for, and how long you have been using them: _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Have you, or either of your parents spent time in jail: ____
If YES, please explain: _____________________________________
Do you have any tattoos: _____
If YES, please explain what they are, where they are located, and what you were thinking: _________________________________
Where do you live:
___ A) Alone
___ B) With parent(s) or other guardian(s). Why: ________________
___ C) With other family. Explain: ____________________
___ D) With roommates
Is your roommate hot? ____
[Attach photo of roommate(s) here]
Names of the last three (3) guys you dated, time period of the relationship, and reason the relationship ended:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Are you in fact SINGLE and not currently in any other relationship, legally or emotionally: _______
Do you have any children (Give names and ages.)
_________________________________________________
How many cats do you have: ________________________
Do you attend all of your church meetings: _______
Even if your friends don't go: _______
Are you worthy of a Temple Recommend: ______
Do you speak with a legitimate foreign accent (Non-USA): _____
If YES, from where: _________________________
What type(s) of music do you usually listen to:
___________________________________________________
Have you ever heard of Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree or Nightwish:
___________________________________________________
Do you have a problem with listening to my music in the car:
___________________________________________________
Do you acknowledge that I (Kevineb) will likely make fun of the lower forms of music that you (the applicant) listen to: ____________
List the "reality type" or "elimination type" of shows that you watch: (i.e. Survivor, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, etc.) *
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
List your hobbies / interests:
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Do you believe in love at first sight:
___________________________________________________
Do you believe relationships continue "happily ever after" like in the fairy tales:
___________________________________________________
Do you often fall head over heals in love with guys you hardly know:
___________________________________________________
Do you have a car: ____ What make/model: _____________
Did you pay for it yourself: ____ If not, who bought it: ________
When did you get the oil changed last: ____________
How often do you talk on the phone while you drive: _________
Do you ever text while you drive: _____
What is your credit rating: _______
List all debts you currently owe and their outstanding balances, including all student loans, credit cards, car payments, etc:
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
If a guy made a risqué joke, you would: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) Slap him
___ B) Call him to repentance
___ C) Giggle and blush
___ D) Laugh
___ E) Come back with a joke of your own
___ F) Miss the joke altogether
___ G) Think he is a pervert
___ H) Take him seriously
___ I) Other: _____________________________
On Valentine's Day what do you expect a guy to do:
(Select all that apply.)
___ A) Simply remember and give you a kiss
___ B) Get you a card and maybe some chocolates
___ C) Take you to the most expensive restaurant in town
___ D) Buy you a new car
___ E) Propose marriage
___ F) Rearrange the stars in the sky to form a portrait of you, then hold the Earth still while you look at it.
___ G) What's Valentine's Day?
___ H) Other: _____________________________
On a warm sunny day what would you do: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) Go for a walk / jog / bike ride
___ B) Go swimming
___ C) Play outdoor sports (baseball, basketball, Frisbee, etc)
___ D) Go to the mall
___ E) Play video games
___ F) Sleep all day
___ G) Balance the checkbook
___ H) Get drunk
___ I) Hunt gators in the swamp with your cousin
___ J) Other: ______________________________
What makes you interested in Kevineb: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) His looks
___ B) His personality / sense of humor
___ C) Cyclists are sexy
___ D) You find him intriguing / mysterious
___ E) Bald guys turn you on
___ F) He has a pulse
___ G) Your friends dared you
___ H) Your baby needs a daddy
___ I) Your therapist said you should meet new people
___ J) You've got a weakness for geeks
___ K) You want a guy to buy you stuff
___ L) You like Progressive Rock music
___ M) You lost a bet
___ N) Who's Kevineb?
___ O) He's single and that's good enough for you
___ P) Other: ____________________________
___ Q) Other: ____________________________
___ R) Other: _____________________________
(If you need more space, please feel free to continue your list on the back of this form.)
Please give the name, address, and phone number for three (3) references.
(TIP: Naming your cat as a reference will result in immediate disqualification.)
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
I, the above-named applicant, do hereby acknowledge that the information given in this application is true and correct. I also acknowledge that the submission of this application does not guarantee approval for any type of relationship,expressed or implied, and any relationship that may develop is not a guarantee of a long term commitment.
* I, the applicant, do also acknowledge that naming ANY reality or elimination type shows on the above question on this form is grounds for immediate disqualification. The only possible exception is So You Think You Can Dance which is only acceptable for viewing because of the hot girls and must be watched with the volume muted except during the actual performances.
Signature: ______________________________ Date: ___________
Application for Dating Consideration
(Form A-2.2)
Name: __________________
Phone #: ________________
Address: ________________
Age: ___________________
[Attach photo of applicant here]
[Attach photo of applicant's mother here]
Height: _______
Weight: _______
Hair Color: ______
Eye Color: _______
Gender: _________
Have you always been a member of that gender: _______
(Please note: ALL MALES are automatically disqualified!)
What type of relationship are you seeking:
___ A) Buddies
___ B) Casual Dating
___ C) Committed Relationship
___ D) Strictly Physical / Booty Call
___ E) Friends With Benefits
(If "YES" to Friends With Benefits, complete and attach the original white copy of FWB Terms & Conditions {Form B-1.0}. Retain the yellow copy for your own records.)
___ F) You've already sent wedding invitations to your relatives.
(If "YES" regarding invitations, please tear up this application and never speak to Kevineb again.)
Current Occupation: ___________ Intended Career Field: ________
Are you currently attending college: _____
Course of study: ________________ GPA: _____
Select your current educational status:
___ High School Graduate
___ Some College
___ Associate's Degree
___ Bachelor's
___ Master's
___ PHD
Have you ever been diagnosed with or treated for any type of mental disorder: ____
If YES, please explain: _______________________________
Has anybody in your family been diagnosed with any type of mental disorder: ____
If YES, please explain: _______________________________
List all prescription medications you are currently taking, what they are for, and how long you have been using them: _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
Have you, or either of your parents spent time in jail: ____
If YES, please explain: _____________________________________
Do you have any tattoos: _____
If YES, please explain what they are, where they are located, and what you were thinking: _________________________________
Where do you live:
___ A) Alone
___ B) With parent(s) or other guardian(s). Why: ________________
___ C) With other family. Explain: ____________________
___ D) With roommates
Is your roommate hot? ____
[Attach photo of roommate(s) here]
Names of the last three (3) guys you dated, time period of the relationship, and reason the relationship ended:
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Are you in fact SINGLE and not currently in any other relationship, legally or emotionally: _______
Do you have any children (Give names and ages.)
_________________________________________________
How many cats do you have: ________________________
Do you attend all of your church meetings: _______
Even if your friends don't go: _______
Are you worthy of a Temple Recommend: ______
Do you speak with a legitimate foreign accent (Non-USA): _____
If YES, from where: _________________________
What type(s) of music do you usually listen to:
___________________________________________________
Have you ever heard of Dream Theater, Porcupine Tree or Nightwish:
___________________________________________________
Do you have a problem with listening to my music in the car:
___________________________________________________
Do you acknowledge that I (Kevineb) will likely make fun of the lower forms of music that you (the applicant) listen to: ____________
List the "reality type" or "elimination type" of shows that you watch: (i.e. Survivor, American Idol, America's Next Top Model, etc.) *
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
List your hobbies / interests:
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Do you believe in love at first sight:
___________________________________________________
Do you believe relationships continue "happily ever after" like in the fairy tales:
___________________________________________________
Do you often fall head over heals in love with guys you hardly know:
___________________________________________________
Do you have a car: ____ What make/model: _____________
Did you pay for it yourself: ____ If not, who bought it: ________
When did you get the oil changed last: ____________
How often do you talk on the phone while you drive: _________
Do you ever text while you drive: _____
What is your credit rating: _______
List all debts you currently owe and their outstanding balances, including all student loans, credit cards, car payments, etc:
___________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
If a guy made a risqué joke, you would: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) Slap him
___ B) Call him to repentance
___ C) Giggle and blush
___ D) Laugh
___ E) Come back with a joke of your own
___ F) Miss the joke altogether
___ G) Think he is a pervert
___ H) Take him seriously
___ I) Other: _____________________________
On Valentine's Day what do you expect a guy to do:
(Select all that apply.)
___ A) Simply remember and give you a kiss
___ B) Get you a card and maybe some chocolates
___ C) Take you to the most expensive restaurant in town
___ D) Buy you a new car
___ E) Propose marriage
___ F) Rearrange the stars in the sky to form a portrait of you, then hold the Earth still while you look at it.
___ G) What's Valentine's Day?
___ H) Other: _____________________________
On a warm sunny day what would you do: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) Go for a walk / jog / bike ride
___ B) Go swimming
___ C) Play outdoor sports (baseball, basketball, Frisbee, etc)
___ D) Go to the mall
___ E) Play video games
___ F) Sleep all day
___ G) Balance the checkbook
___ H) Get drunk
___ I) Hunt gators in the swamp with your cousin
___ J) Other: ______________________________
What makes you interested in Kevineb: (Select all that apply.)
___ A) His looks
___ B) His personality / sense of humor
___ C) Cyclists are sexy
___ D) You find him intriguing / mysterious
___ E) Bald guys turn you on
___ F) He has a pulse
___ G) Your friends dared you
___ H) Your baby needs a daddy
___ I) Your therapist said you should meet new people
___ J) You've got a weakness for geeks
___ K) You want a guy to buy you stuff
___ L) You like Progressive Rock music
___ M) You lost a bet
___ N) Who's Kevineb?
___ O) He's single and that's good enough for you
___ P) Other: ____________________________
___ Q) Other: ____________________________
___ R) Other: _____________________________
(If you need more space, please feel free to continue your list on the back of this form.)
Please give the name, address, and phone number for three (3) references.
(TIP: Naming your cat as a reference will result in immediate disqualification.)
__________________________________________________
__________________________________________________
I, the above-named applicant, do hereby acknowledge that the information given in this application is true and correct. I also acknowledge that the submission of this application does not guarantee approval for any type of relationship,expressed or implied, and any relationship that may develop is not a guarantee of a long term commitment.
* I, the applicant, do also acknowledge that naming ANY reality or elimination type shows on the above question on this form is grounds for immediate disqualification. The only possible exception is So You Think You Can Dance which is only acceptable for viewing because of the hot girls and must be watched with the volume muted except during the actual performances.
Signature: ______________________________ Date: ___________
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Wish Granted
Tuesday night, 5/27/2008, was the Nightwish concert at the Granada Theatre in Lawrence Kansas. Jeep and I left in the afternoon and met my friend Jee and her cousin T in Lawrence, then we all went to the show together. As I type this Wednesday afternoon, my ears are still ringing a little bit.
One of the things I love about Progressive Rock is that it attracts such a wide variety of people. At a Prog show you will see young hard-partying metal-head drunks standing next to clean cut middle-aged businessmen. The majority of the people at this show seemed to fall into the twenty-something emo-goth-metal categories, but there were plenty of normal looking folks too, including a couple that must have been at least 50 standing behind us. (I asked that lady to take our picture because I figured she was least likely to rob us.)
As we were standing in line I had to smile when I saw a middle-aged man walking alone up the sidewalk. He was mostly bald with his remaining hair a bit long and disheveled, his scrawny pasty white legs were obviously not familiar with sunlight, and he was fumbling to put batteries in his camera as he awkwardly made his way toward the end of the line. But all nerdiness aside, he was going to a metal concert wearing a black Epica t-shirt. I started to chuckle at the sight until I realized I was looking at an image of myself in 15 years.
I had a few goals for the night. 1) Find a good spot to stand - the venue was standing only, general admission. 2) Rock out like crazy. 3) Make out with the lead singer Anette Olzon. 4) Touch Marco's beard; the bass player Marco Hietala has a long beard that looks very soft. Touching Marco's beard is on my life's 'bucket list'. I wonder what kind of shampoo he uses. Probably some exotic stuff only available in Finland. 5) Have an awesome time.
One memorable moment that was funny at the time, but gets more sad every time I think of it: As we continued to wait outside a man walked up who had clearly led a hard life of substance abuse that has apparently caused a good deal of permanent damage. He stopped next to me, gawked at the line of people stretching down the block, and asked what the line was for. After a silent pause, it seemed nobody wanted to respond to him. Never too afraid to talk to crazies, I told him we were there to see a concert. He asked what band and I said Nightwish. As expected, he had never heard of them. He asked what type of music, and a person behind me replied "Metal." The man then asked if they were any good, so I grinned at him and simply said "Excellent." The man then started to rant, "I came all the way here from Massachusetts, and it took me THREE MONTHS! (At this point he started yelling in the typical crazy burn-out fashion.) AND IF I'M HERE TO DISCOVER THAT THIS IS A GREAT BAND, THEN THAT MUST BE WHY I'M HERE! …" Halfway through his rant the line moved forward and he was no longer near us, so I don't know what happened after that. (Talking to burn-outs is always interesting. Remind me to tell you about the time I almost bought a used bike from an older crack-head couple.)
Random Comments:
- "I hear, but how will I see?" (Nightwish: The Siren) Once inside we found a good spot to stand about 35 feet from the stage, right in front of the soundboard, center stage. After suffering through the crappy opening act we had a great vantage point from which to enjoy Nightwish.
- The performance was great. The sound quality could have been a little better - the guitarist and Marco's microphone were drowning a bit, but I'm super analytical about stuff like that.
- The place was packed shoulder to shoulder and it was pretty hot, so it was difficult to do much fist pumping, headbanging, or any other sort of physical movement.
- Anette is a doll. You can hardly take your eyes off of her when she's on the stage, no matter how badly you want to see what the rest of the band is doing. She's beautiful, her singing is amazing, her dancing is great (not forced or cheesy), and her voice when she speaks is simply enchanting. It's as if you are a young child and she is this sweet, loving, Swedish au pare who is there to take care of you, tell you a fairy tale, and tuck you in to bed. At one point she did some headbanging and I've never seen somebody make headbanging look so … cute. She brings Elegance into the world of Metal; the perfect personification of this type of band.
- Marco = Metal \m/
- Emppu is tiny. Wikipedia says he's 5'-5". Marco's microphone stand was above Emppu's head when he walked past it. He would squat down in a typical metal guitarist pose and his head would disappear below the heads of the people in the first row. From our vantage point, it seemed as if he vanished from the stage until he stood up again.
- I only met 3 of my 5 goals. Jeep and I had to get back to Omaha, so we didn't have time to wait by the tour buses for the band to come out. So I missed my chance to touch Marco's beard and Anette missed her chance to make out with me.
My friend Jee, her cousin T, Jeep, Kevineb
Drums: Jukka Nevalainen; Singer: Anette Olzon; Bass: Marco Hietala
This is kinda a cool time elapsed shot. My shutter stayed open for a long time because it was so dark - which makes things fuzzy if anything moves, especially my hands - but everything was still enough for this to be relatively clear. You can see Anette's hand is moving downward, Marco's left hand is sliding down the neck, and his right hand is moving up and down.
Keyboard/Mastermind: Tuomas Holopainen (far left); Bass: Marco Hietala (singing in this picture); Drums: Jukka Nevalainen; Singer: Anette Olzon (her back to the audience, waving her fantastic fanny. Thank you Anette!); Guitar: Emppu Vuorinen
I managed to hold the camera still and get everything in the frame even though I'm holding it over my head, not looking through it at all.
You can't tell what any of them look like in my photos, so here they are:
Marco, Tuomas, Anette, Emppu (apparently standing on a box), Jukka
Setlist for the show (not necessarily in the correct order):
Bye Bye Beautiful
Dark Chest of Wonders
The Siren
Amaranth
Sahara
The Poet and the Pendulum
Come Cover Me
Whoever Brings the Night
The Islander
Nemo
7 Days to the Wolves
(encore)
Wishmaster
Sleeping Sun
Wish I Had An Angel
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