You Grew Up in Iowa If:

Just for the record, I’m a Nebraskan – hence my user name. But I spent my adolescent years in a tiny town in Iowa. Iowa has been in the news a lot recently with all the tornados and floods, so I thought I’d post these. The first half was emailed to me by a friend. The second half, in green was written by Yours Truly. Some of them may only make sense if you lived in Manson.

You Grew Up in Iowa If:
- You know what "knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
- You know the difference between 'Green' and 'Red' farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
- You buy Christmas presents at Farm Fleet.
- More is spent on beer & liquor than food at weddings.
- You or someone you know was a 'Pork Queen' at the county fair.
- You know that 'combine' is a noun AND a verb. (Actually, if you went to Iowa public schools, you probably have no idea what the difference is between a noun and a verb. - Kevineb)
- You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
- You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
- You know that 'creek' rhymes with 'pick'.
- Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set. - There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows or goats in the morning...phew!
- You have driven your car on the lake.
- Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance. (Or every church dance. - Kevineb)
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
- You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- Pop is the only name for soda.
- You don't need to use your turn signals because everyone already knows where you are going.
- When you lose control of your vehicle and go into the ditch, the news will get back to town before you do!!!!!

Additions by Kevineb:
- You pronounce it "Fow Dodge"
- You were 18 before you ever met a person with any kind of ethnic background other than your own.
- Your town has the only stoplight in the county.
- You drive 25 miles to get to the nearest McDonalds.
- Every small town needs an excuse for a parade in the summer. Yours is the fact that decades ago the town was leveled by a tornado.
- Eventually they ditch the tornado theme in favor of the fact that it was hit by a meteorite millions of years ago.
- You are proud to see the story of the meteorite depicted on the side of a U-Haul.
- The land is so flat, when you look at the horizon you can see the back of your own head.
- You had the same high school Math teacher as your dad.
- A Tornado Watch doesn't bother you at all.
- Your tractor has more electronics than your home office.
- Once you meet a police car you go ahead and speed up, knowing he is the only one around.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see the snow falling straight down instead of sideways.
- You visit one of the mountain states and are astonished to see mountains.
- The first thing you do every morning is scrape an inch of ice off your car.
- When something is diagonal you say it's "kitty corner." (This infuriates me! - Kev)
- You wear a cap that proudly advertises a brand of seed corn, and you discuss this topic in depth with your buddies.
- The best student in your Chemistry class lives in one of the Meth houses on your street.
- The only radio station within range plays both kinds of music: Country AND Western.
- On Monday you wore a t-shirt and played outside. On Wednesday you shoveled a foot of snow off the driveway.
- Your local newspaper is published once a week and the front page features a kid building a snowman with no mention of the recent drug busts.
- Your town has a dozen of them, but everybody knows exactly where you were at if you say you were at "the four-way stop."
- The biggest sledding hill in your area started at the shoulder of the highway and went into the drainage ditch.
- You remember taking the ITEDs every year.
- You know why there are miniature road signs in the ditch along the highway.
- You see somebody dipping their bicycle wheel into a river and you know why. (At least I think you should know why, but then I'm a cyclist AND I grew up in Iowa. - Kevineb)
- You know that the best corn is purchased from the back of a pickup on the side of the highway.
- You aren't surprised to find the stores are closed during the Cy-Hawk game.
- You know what the "Cy-Hawk" game is.
- You know the difference between the Golden Rule at ISU and the Golden Rule you learned in church.
- You or somebody you know has been involved in a grain explosion.