Reasons Why My Bike is Better Than a Woman
1. My bike never complains that I don't take it out as often as it would like.
2. My bike doesn't mind if I take my friend's bike for a ride.
3. My bike is always ready for action.
4. If something is wrong with my bike, it will give me some type of clue.
5. While my bike does require some amount of maintenance, it's not nearly as much maintenance as a girlfriend requires.
6. I don't need to continually try to impress my bike.
7. My bike doesn't mind when I suggest getting some new parts to make it sportier.
8. My bike doesn't ever make me watch American Idol or Dancing With Washed-Up Has-Beens.
9. My bike has 64 nipples. (That is the actual term for the little pieces that secure the spokes to the rim. What were YOU thinking of? Shame on you.)
10. In 15 years my bike will still weigh the same as it does today.
11. My bike doesn't try on six sets of tires in front of the mirror before we go out.
12. My bike doesn't argue with me when I say it's beautiful.
13. My bike doesn't expect me to throw a tickertape parade for it down Main Street on it's birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, our anniversary, New Year's, Arbor Day, Yom Kippur, Thursdays, each day of Lent, etc.
14. It's wheels may sometimes be "out of true", but my bike has never lied to me.
15. My bike never has a headache.
16. My bike likes to roll around in the mud.
17. Although I've spent more money on my bike than I care to admit and it has still broken down and left me stranded many miles from home on more than one occasion, my bike is still more reliable and faithful than any girl.
2. My bike doesn't mind if I take my friend's bike for a ride.
3. My bike is always ready for action.
4. If something is wrong with my bike, it will give me some type of clue.
5. While my bike does require some amount of maintenance, it's not nearly as much maintenance as a girlfriend requires.
6. I don't need to continually try to impress my bike.
7. My bike doesn't mind when I suggest getting some new parts to make it sportier.
8. My bike doesn't ever make me watch American Idol or Dancing With Washed-Up Has-Beens.
9. My bike has 64 nipples. (That is the actual term for the little pieces that secure the spokes to the rim. What were YOU thinking of? Shame on you.)
10. In 15 years my bike will still weigh the same as it does today.
11. My bike doesn't try on six sets of tires in front of the mirror before we go out.
12. My bike doesn't argue with me when I say it's beautiful.
13. My bike doesn't expect me to throw a tickertape parade for it down Main Street on it's birthday, Valentine's Day, Christmas, our anniversary, New Year's, Arbor Day, Yom Kippur, Thursdays, each day of Lent, etc.
14. It's wheels may sometimes be "out of true", but my bike has never lied to me.
15. My bike never has a headache.
16. My bike likes to roll around in the mud.
17. Although I've spent more money on my bike than I care to admit and it has still broken down and left me stranded many miles from home on more than one occasion, my bike is still more reliable and faithful than any girl.
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1 comment:
Congrats on the blog!
Hadn't seen this piece. Very funny.
However, this may not be something to show women you might want to ask out sometime.
Do you actually know your bike's anniversary?
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