Thursday, July 8, 2010

Soulmate!

Somebody once asked me the question “How will you know your future spouse when you meet her?” My response was “She’ll be wearing a Dream Theater shirt.”

Last night I was walking out of the Institute classroom and in the foyer I saw a girl wearing this shirt …



I rushed over to her, told her I love her shirt, introduced myself, and started chatting. It took a few seconds for me to notice the handful of people in the hallway all saying my name to get my attention. Apparently I blew right past the institute instructor who was trying to shake everybody’s hand as they left the classroom.

This was the most natural ice-breaking conversation I’ve ever had with a person I don’t know. Heck, this was easier than talking to some of my friends! She was also wearing a wristband with the Dream Theater logo. She’s about 20ish, from Utah, and she’s here for a week visiting a friend – some other young girl I’ve never seen before last week.

Let me try to explain how bizarre this is:
- While Dream Theater is the biggest band in the Prog world, they are completely unknown to the mainstream. So their fanbase is relatively small in America when compared to just about any other band you might hear on the radio or MTV or VH1.

- Because we are few and far between, you are unlikely to bump into another DT fan outside of your own circle of friends. You are even less likely to bump into one on the day they happen to be wearing a DT shirt (unless they wear one every day).

- You are much less likely to bump into a female fan. For some reason the overwhelming majority of Prog-heads are men.

- Even less likely for the other Prog-head to be LDS.

So you see, many stars had to align for this to happen. (I crunched some numbers and I estimate the total number of American female LDS YSA Dream Theater fans to be about 25.*)

She also likes Porcupine Tree, Nightwish, and Rush. She comes from a whole family of Dream Theater fans. Their recent family vacation was to go from Utah to Denver to see Dream Theater in concert, opening for Iron Maiden.

As we departed, she did so in the manner customary to my people. She gave me the horn gesture and said “Rock on!” It almost brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Of course I’m just joking about marrying this girl. I’m not in love with her; I’m just in love with this experience.

Besides, it would never work out between us. … She pronounces it “Dream Thee-YAY-ter.”


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*Estimated 50,000 Dream Theater fans in the U.S. based on recent record sales.
-Estimated 5% of serious fans are female based on observations of DT concert attendance and the mikeportnoy.com forum.
- Approximately 2% of the U.S. population is LDS based on U.S. Census and Church records.
- Guesstimated 50% of those fans are single and “young.”