Soulmate!

Somebody once asked me the question “How will you know your future spouse when you meet her?” My response was “She’ll be wearing a Dream Theater shirt.”

Last night I was walking out of the Institute classroom and in the foyer I saw a girl wearing this shirt …



I rushed over to her, told her I love her shirt, introduced myself, and started chatting. It took a few seconds for me to notice the handful of people in the hallway all saying my name to get my attention. Apparently I blew right past the institute instructor who was trying to shake everybody’s hand as they left the classroom.

This was the most natural ice-breaking conversation I’ve ever had with a person I don’t know. Heck, this was easier than talking to some of my friends! She was also wearing a wristband with the Dream Theater logo. She’s about 20ish, from Utah, and she’s here for a week visiting a friend – some other young girl I’ve never seen before last week.

Let me try to explain how bizarre this is:
- While Dream Theater is the biggest band in the Prog world, they are completely unknown to the mainstream. So their fanbase is relatively small in America when compared to just about any other band you might hear on the radio or MTV or VH1.

- Because we are few and far between, you are unlikely to bump into another DT fan outside of your own circle of friends. You are even less likely to bump into one on the day they happen to be wearing a DT shirt (unless they wear one every day).

- You are much less likely to bump into a female fan. For some reason the overwhelming majority of Prog-heads are men.

- Even less likely for the other Prog-head to be LDS.

So you see, many stars had to align for this to happen. (I crunched some numbers and I estimate the total number of American female LDS YSA Dream Theater fans to be about 25.*)

She also likes Porcupine Tree, Nightwish, and Rush. She comes from a whole family of Dream Theater fans. Their recent family vacation was to go from Utah to Denver to see Dream Theater in concert, opening for Iron Maiden.

As we departed, she did so in the manner customary to my people. She gave me the horn gesture and said “Rock on!” It almost brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Of course I’m just joking about marrying this girl. I’m not in love with her; I’m just in love with this experience.

Besides, it would never work out between us. … She pronounces it “Dream Thee-YAY-ter.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------
*Estimated 50,000 Dream Theater fans in the U.S. based on recent record sales.
-Estimated 5% of serious fans are female based on observations of DT concert attendance and the mikeportnoy.com forum.
- Approximately 2% of the U.S. population is LDS based on U.S. Census and Church records.
- Guesstimated 50% of those fans are single and “young.”

My Car

I was talking to my brother and his wife recently and they were commenting on my car’s windshield. It’s a bit cracked up from the time some punks smashed in my passenger window, stole my cd player, and smacked my windshield with a rock or something. This happened about 5 or 6 years ago. I was quite poor at the time; I had just enough money to fix the missing window. I didn’t have another $200 to fix the windshield and the cracks didn’t block my vision much, so replacing it became a low priority. I reinstalled the original cassette tape player and made do with listening to tapes. Knowing how much I love music, my family got together to buy me a new cd player for Christmas a year or two later. By the time I could afford to fix the windshield, I no longer even noticed the cracks. I’m reminded any time somebody new sits in my car and immediately asks what happened to it.

My brother and his wife were saying that I may not be making a good impression with the ladies because of my car and it’s cracked windshield. The ladies will think “If he can’t take good care of his car, then he can’t take good care of me.”

That made me ponder a few things. I think we all make some assessments of people based on what they drive and how they take care of it. I’m no different. I’ll admit that when I see a young girl driving a sports car, I assume she is spoiled, immature, and materialistic.

So if a woman meets a man who drives an older car that is scratched up and dented, is it accurate for her to personify the car as herself and say that he does not take good care of his car, therefore he would not take good care of her and their family? It sounds like the kind of theory I might have.

But instead of theory, what about reality? Instead of having the car represent the family, what if the car just represented a car - a very important, yet very expensive tool? It is a major asset, and a source of major expenses for the family.

What if you were married to that man? Little Timmy is shooting hoops in the driveway and dents the car door with the basketball. Little Suzy rides her bike too close and scratches up the side.

Money is tight, just like it is in every family. It will cost hundreds of dollars to repair the damage. Should Dad get the car fixed so it looks new again, and thus display how well he takes care of his family? Or should that money go toward getting the kids new clothes that they are always out-growing, and paying the doctor bill for the time Timmy fell out of the tree? (Man, that kid’s a klutz.)

I think most would agree that the car’s appearance is a lower priority. It will still get Dad to work, and it will still get the family to church. So Dad swallows his pride and drives the now beat up car around town. When he stops at an intersection, what should people think about him and how well he takes care of his family? Is he a poor lazy slob, or is he a humble man who puts the needs of his family first? It may be hard to tell from the next lane over.

So here it is: Full disclosure. I never replaced the windshield because I learned to make do with it as it is. The dent in the fender is from the time a teenager changed lanes without looking; I never reported him for it and learned a lesson on forgiveness. The patch of rust on the door is from 11 years of Midwest weather. The bike rack on the trunk may look silly, but it is very useful. The scratches around the back are from various bikes leaning against it during various adventures with my friends; a small price to pay for the memories and the friendships. The two larger scratches on the front bumper are from the time I got stuck in the snow during a snow-biking trip and Jeep tried to push me out with his four-wheel drive. What a crazy day that was.

My 1999 Ford Escort has 150,000 miles, and is still going strong. It’s very reliable, runs great, and gets 30 mpg … in town. I paid it off years ago and the money I’ve saved from not having a car payment and having lower insurance has allowed me to save money, instead of just breaking even. It gets the oil changed regularly and mechanical issues are addressed in a timely manner.

It’s not the most attractive, it’s not fast, and it’s not fancy, but it suits me quite well.

There you go ladies! Judge as you will!

Feel free to comment about what you think a car says about a person, both in theory and in reality. What do you think my car says about me? What does your car say about you?

Let Me Explain

Those of you who haven’t entirely given up on my blog are apparently wondering, “Hey Kev, what’s up with the previous post?” I didn’t think this would be so enigmatic, but I guess I overestimated my audiences knowledge of old sci-fi films/books.

The reference is to “Logan’s Run.” (1967 book, 1976 film).

In the future people live in a peaceful, utopian society. Life is full of pleasure, but it is required that your life end at a specified age. (21 in the book. 30 in the movie.) Your age is shown by a jewel implanted into your palm at birth which changes color as you age. When you reach the specified age the jewel begins to blink. Most people voluntarily report to the authorities to comply with the law.

But some people try to run from their doom. Logan is a Sandman. His job is to hunt down the runners and enforce the age limit of their society. Logan eventually becomes a runner himself.

So why is this on my mind, you ask? What does this have to do with anything?

I attend church in a Young Single Adults ward. YSA wards are strictly for unmarried people between the ages of 18 to 30. YSA wards are a lot of fun. The YSA community here in Omaha has more activities in a single week than most wards have in an entire year. (Family Home Evening, Institute classes, soccer, volleyball, ultimate Frisbee, potluck dinners, CES broadcasts, parties, etc.) You are surrounded by people your age who share the same values and are likely in the same stage of life, going through similar trials, and celebrating similar triumphs.

The ultimate hope is that you will find that certain someone and get married. Some refer to this as “graduating from the ward.” Of course once you are married you cannot remain in the Young Single Adult ward because you are no longer single.

Then there is the other way to become disqualified from a Young Single Adult ward, and that is when you are no longer “young.” A line must be drawn somewhere, so it is drawn at the age of 31. At that age you are sent back to the regular “family ward.” If marriage is “graduation,” this is “flunking out.”

I am the clerk in my ward. One of my responsibilities is to maintain the membership records. When people move out, get married, or exceed the age limit I am the one who sends their records to their new ward. I am the one who enforces the rule and officially removes them from our midst.

And in about 4 months I myself will be turning 31.

This Wasn't Blinking Before

Dang.

Time is running out.

And The Winner Is...

The results are in, and the winner of the What Is This contest is ..........

LAUREN!!

Lauren said "I think it looks like the band of a really wide watch or chainmail" which has been officially delcared by the judges to be close enough. This is actually a covering wrapped around a support pole at the Mall of America. (The camera is looking up the pole to the ceiling.) It appears to be constructed in a chainmail-like manner, very much like a watch band, but on a larger scale. Each of those metal segments is about 2 inches long.

Congratulations Lauren, you win ... nothing really.

Contest: What is This?

I took this picture over the weekend. Can anybody guess what it is?
If you guess correctly, you will win a priceless prize:

The admiration of all my countless readers around the globe.

Adding Tracks to Rock Box

I apologize for not adding anything to the Rock Box for 4 months. I'm sure Apocalyptica is getting pretty stale by now.

Here’s a batch of songs from CDs I’ve bought since then. I’ll get around to telling about them later.

1. “Insurgentes” by Steven Wilson (see also Porcupine Tree) from his solo album Insurgentes
2. “A Rite of Passage” by Dream Theater, from their newest album Black Clouds & Silver Linings
3. “Goshen’s Remains” by Pure Reason Revolution, from ­The Dark Third
4. "Burden" by Opeth, from Watershed
5. “Money, It’s Pure Evil” by Bigelf, from Cheat the Gallows
6. “Fragile” by Lacuna Coil, from Karmacode

Enjoy!

Snow Pix. Finally!

Hey, remember when I said I took pictures while snow biking with J-9? Well I finally got them developed.

My wheels were in an artistic mood that day.

J-9 rockin' teeter-totter #2.

Me on teeter-totter #2.

With scenery this beautiful, you can understand why snow biking is so awesome.

(The snow is pretty, too!) ;-)

Ready to go home.

After the thaw, J-9 takes on teeter-totter #1.

A park bench in Omaha.

Special Delivery!

Look what arrived over the weekend!



In August Big Rig, Jeep, Princess Flip Flop and I will be going to see Dream Theater's Progressive Nation 2009 Tour in Minneapolis.

Featured bands:
Dream Theater (YAAAAAY!!!!)
Zappa Plays Zappa (Not my cup of tea.)
Pain of Salvation (YAAAY!!)
Beardfish (A modern prog band that sounds like older prog. I'm not too familiar with them. At least the opening act is not Into Eternity. YAAY!)

Manawa Pics

Good news, folk. I finally joined the 21st century and got a digital camera! (It was free with the renewal of my apartment lease.) So now you don't have to wait 6 months for me to put pictures up here. I still need to develope the pictures of snow biking with J-9.

This weekend my little brother Mr. Pibb was finally able to meet some of my best friends: Jeep and Midge (previously known as "Seashells"). We went out to Lake Manawa for some adventure.
Mr. Pibb on his first teeter totter!


Mr. Pibb on Teeter Totter #2

Midge (aka Seashells) on Teeter Totter #2

Me coming down Teeter Totter #1

Me on a small log ride

Mr. Pibb, Midge, and Jeep

A very colorful train on the interstate