I was talking to my brother and his wife recently and they were commenting on my car’s windshield. It’s a bit cracked up from the time some punks smashed in my passenger window, stole my cd player, and smacked my windshield with a rock or something. This happened about 5 or 6 years ago. I was quite poor at the time; I had just enough money to fix the missing window. I didn’t have another $200 to fix the windshield and the cracks didn’t block my vision much, so replacing it became a low priority. I reinstalled the original cassette tape player and made do with listening to tapes. Knowing how much I love music, my family got together to buy me a new cd player for Christmas a year or two later. By the time I could afford to fix the windshield, I no longer even noticed the cracks. I’m reminded any time somebody new sits in my car and immediately asks what happened to it.
My brother and his wife were saying that I may not be making a good impression with the ladies because of my car and it’s cracked windshield. The ladies will think “If he can’t take good care of his car, then he can’t take good care of me.”
That made me ponder a few things. I think we all make some assessments of people based on what they drive and how they take care of it. I’m no different. I’ll admit that when I see a young girl driving a sports car, I assume she is spoiled, immature, and materialistic.
So if a woman meets a man who drives an older car that is scratched up and dented, is it accurate for her to personify the car as herself and say that he does not take good care of his car, therefore he would not take good care of her and their family? It sounds like the kind of theory I might have.
But instead of theory, what about reality? Instead of having the car represent the family, what if the car just represented a car - a very important, yet very expensive tool? It is a major asset, and a source of major expenses for the family.
What if you were married to that man? Little Timmy is shooting hoops in the driveway and dents the car door with the basketball. Little Suzy rides her bike too close and scratches up the side.
Money is tight, just like it is in every family. It will cost hundreds of dollars to repair the damage. Should Dad get the car fixed so it looks new again, and thus display how well he takes care of his family? Or should that money go toward getting the kids new clothes that they are always out-growing, and paying the doctor bill for the time Timmy fell out of the tree? (Man, that kid’s a klutz.)
I think most would agree that the car’s appearance is a lower priority. It will still get Dad to work, and it will still get the family to church. So Dad swallows his pride and drives the now beat up car around town. When he stops at an intersection, what should people think about him and how well he takes care of his family? Is he a poor lazy slob, or is he a humble man who puts the needs of his family first? It may be hard to tell from the next lane over.
So here it is: Full disclosure. I never replaced the windshield because I learned to make do with it as it is. The dent in the fender is from the time a teenager changed lanes without looking; I never reported him for it and learned a lesson on forgiveness. The patch of rust on the door is from 11 years of Midwest weather. The bike rack on the trunk may look silly, but it is very useful. The scratches around the back are from various bikes leaning against it during various adventures with my friends; a small price to pay for the memories and the friendships. The two larger scratches on the front bumper are from the time I got stuck in the snow during a snow-biking trip and Jeep tried to push me out with his four-wheel drive. What a crazy day that was.
My 1999 Ford Escort has 150,000 miles, and is still going strong. It’s very reliable, runs great, and gets 30 mpg … in town. I paid it off years ago and the money I’ve saved from not having a car payment and having lower insurance has allowed me to save money, instead of just breaking even. It gets the oil changed regularly and mechanical issues are addressed in a timely manner.
It’s not the most attractive, it’s not fast, and it’s not fancy, but it suits me quite well.
There you go ladies! Judge as you will!
Feel free to comment about what you think a car says about a person, both in theory and in reality. What do you think my car says about me? What does your car say about you?
My brother and his wife were saying that I may not be making a good impression with the ladies because of my car and it’s cracked windshield. The ladies will think “If he can’t take good care of his car, then he can’t take good care of me.”
That made me ponder a few things. I think we all make some assessments of people based on what they drive and how they take care of it. I’m no different. I’ll admit that when I see a young girl driving a sports car, I assume she is spoiled, immature, and materialistic.
So if a woman meets a man who drives an older car that is scratched up and dented, is it accurate for her to personify the car as herself and say that he does not take good care of his car, therefore he would not take good care of her and their family? It sounds like the kind of theory I might have.
But instead of theory, what about reality? Instead of having the car represent the family, what if the car just represented a car - a very important, yet very expensive tool? It is a major asset, and a source of major expenses for the family.
What if you were married to that man? Little Timmy is shooting hoops in the driveway and dents the car door with the basketball. Little Suzy rides her bike too close and scratches up the side.
Money is tight, just like it is in every family. It will cost hundreds of dollars to repair the damage. Should Dad get the car fixed so it looks new again, and thus display how well he takes care of his family? Or should that money go toward getting the kids new clothes that they are always out-growing, and paying the doctor bill for the time Timmy fell out of the tree? (Man, that kid’s a klutz.)
I think most would agree that the car’s appearance is a lower priority. It will still get Dad to work, and it will still get the family to church. So Dad swallows his pride and drives the now beat up car around town. When he stops at an intersection, what should people think about him and how well he takes care of his family? Is he a poor lazy slob, or is he a humble man who puts the needs of his family first? It may be hard to tell from the next lane over.
So here it is: Full disclosure. I never replaced the windshield because I learned to make do with it as it is. The dent in the fender is from the time a teenager changed lanes without looking; I never reported him for it and learned a lesson on forgiveness. The patch of rust on the door is from 11 years of Midwest weather. The bike rack on the trunk may look silly, but it is very useful. The scratches around the back are from various bikes leaning against it during various adventures with my friends; a small price to pay for the memories and the friendships. The two larger scratches on the front bumper are from the time I got stuck in the snow during a snow-biking trip and Jeep tried to push me out with his four-wheel drive. What a crazy day that was.
My 1999 Ford Escort has 150,000 miles, and is still going strong. It’s very reliable, runs great, and gets 30 mpg … in town. I paid it off years ago and the money I’ve saved from not having a car payment and having lower insurance has allowed me to save money, instead of just breaking even. It gets the oil changed regularly and mechanical issues are addressed in a timely manner.
It’s not the most attractive, it’s not fast, and it’s not fancy, but it suits me quite well.
There you go ladies! Judge as you will!
Feel free to comment about what you think a car says about a person, both in theory and in reality. What do you think my car says about me? What does your car say about you?
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2 comments:
Love the post. My car is the same year as yours with just a bit more mileage. It's in a lot worse shape but gets my kids and I from A to B. Priorities priorities.
I can totally see, however, how a single guy might get judged a bit differently on this. You don't have to pay for Timmy's doctor's visit. So is it that you can't afford to fix it or just don't care (I'm playing devil's advocate here)? I don't know if I would have thought of it that way, but I see where that train of thought comes from.
However, I vote for the character of the car and the frugality of the owner!
I see the point that a man (especially a single one) can be judged by his vehicle (especially by a single lady). While I don't disagree with it entirely, I would like to point out it's likely not a conscious connection. Not as conscious as, say, looking at the way he treats his mother.
Being who I am, I realize there are extenuating circumstances to just about everything. To play devil's advocate to Emily's advocating for the devil, what if the single guy isn't fixing that minor blemish because he'd rather give the $200 to his friend so they can get their car up and running? The appearance of someone's car isn't something I'm going to judge someone for. The bald tires and saran-wrapped window on the other hand...
(Skip to the end.)
I used to have a car that looked pretty beat up, but I got a lot of use out of it before I was stupid and let the brakes go beyond worth repairing. (But that's something that should go on my own blog.) It had a large dent in the driver's side door that I liked to call my anti-theft device. It was a 16 year-old Oldsmobile that one would only steal if desperate to begin with, but it was reliable and took me across Iowa dozens of times. I kept the dented door partially because I like(d) any excuse to tell people I got T-boned by a nun and partially because I didn't want a two-toned car. But mostly I kept it because I'd already gotten my money's worth out of the car (more than, actually) and knew I'd have student loan payments coming due in the next year.
As usual, I digressed.
Moral of the comment: While a person's vehicle can assist in assessing their overall character, it's not the be all, end all when it comes to whether or not a (single) woman is interested in a (young) man.
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